Saturday, June 02, 2007

The Best Birth Control Advocate Ever

So you know that new movie out, Knocked Up? Totally hilarious, but let me just warn you now: If you are going to be giving birth relatively soon, or, you know, EVER, maybe be prepared to cover your eyes and ears towards the end. 'Cause HOLY CRAP! I actually didn't view my own child's birth in as graphic of detail as this actress's pretend birthing scene was shown to me on the big screen last night. There was your usual yelling and cursing and writhing in pain and all that, but there was also a pleasant moment in which the baby's heart rate drops and the OB shoves his hand between the girl's legs and digs around quite deeply for awhile while she cringes in pain. Afterward he explains ever so coolly that the cord was wrapped around the baby's neck and he was just "loosening" it. Um, okay...
And then there's the actual birth, which features the actress, who has foregone drugs, shrieking, "Oh my God, I feel everything, I feel EVERYTHING!" I was literally squirming in my seat, remembering that distinct and panicked sensation of HEAD!, and realizing afresh what is in my not-too-distant future. Then, before I could calm down and remember that I was watching fiction, there appeared, not once but three times, the lovely image of a real woman's vagina with a baby's head crowning through it! Gaaaaa!!! I didn't even ask for a mirror when I was giving birth because I was slightly afraid that the grossness of what was happening to my girly bits would distract me from the actual miracle at hand. So what happens? A year and a half later, I get to see what happened to my girly bits via the magic of cinema!
I still thought the movie was fun, though- definitely not one for the kiddies, however. Although, maybe go ahead and encourage your teenagers to attend, preferably with their current romantic interest. I can almost guarantee you that there will be no premarital sex happening for at least a few days after the viewing of that movie! In fact, as we were leaving, I noticed there were still a few shell-shocked adolescents who remained frozen to their seats, valiantly avoiding eye contact with one another. Ah, young love...

9 comments:

jen said...

LOL! I have a crazy idea I want to see this movie and my husband thinks I'm nuts. But I am surprised they'd show that! eek.

Hey, at least it wasn't fakey fake lovey dovey no -pain perfect-looking blah blah

Devan said...

omg that's hilarious! I JUST saw this movie Friday night too!! It was a girls night out and it was beyond funny.
The giving birth scene was beyond surprising! I did NOT expect to see that. What bugged me was that she was totally shaved. It probably made for a lot less scary scene, but what 9+ mo pg woman wants to have a bikini wax.
Not I...

desperate housewife said...

I didn't even notice the shaved part! But as I (wincingly) bring back the scene to mind, I see that you are right. What the...? Oh wait, yes, every laboring woman stops off at the salon for a niec Brazilian wax before heading to the delivery room!

Black Sheeped said...

I read that it was a prosthetic vagina. Not real. Perhaps that explains the hairless-ness.

Black Sheeped said...

Quoted:

Pushing That R Rating: Apatow just goes for it in Knocked Up, showing the delivery - and the crown - from multiple angles. “In terms of the comedy in terms of what I’ll show or what I won’t show, I just want it to seem real. So the reason that I show the crowning shot is if I don’t, if I don’t show it I just look like an episode of Friends and I am trying to make you feel the pain of that that experience. Because it is the most intense moment in people’s lives and I had to do something that hadn’t been done before. My original goal was to find a woman who would allow me to shoot the baby coming out and then match it into Katherine – the same sheets, the same bed. We got close to getting it done, but here’s why we weren’t allowed to…and this is interesting. The state of California says you can’t do that because the unborn child would need a worker’s permit and I can’t get it till he’s born. There is a Kurt Vonnegut problem right there. So, we weren’t able to do it, so it became a prosthetic.”

https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=30354864&postID=9137785720951637923

desperate housewife said...

Black Sheeped: Thank you so much for your research! That makes a little more sense now.

Lisa said...

I just read a review today and decided I really want to see this movie! However, the review didn't mention the birth sceen.
Hope I can handle it;) Thanks for the warning.
I liked hearing the directors thoughts on the scene, thanks for posting that black sheeped.

Stay at Home Mom said...

Thanks for the forewarning... would you recommend going to see it, or wait until it comes out on video (because, as you know the chance to go see a movie doesn't come up often enough)?

Stay at home mom

desperate housewife said...

Hmm... Probably, if you have small kids at home who might even chance to walk into the room at some point during your viewing of the movie, I would say go see it in the theater. I mean, it is REALLY not kid-friendly in any way.