Monday, June 25, 2007

Rise and Shine

It has been a long morning. I kind of went into it with a handicap, as I had to take my Vistaril last night and thus slept the heavy, crazy-dreaming kind of sleep that leaves me sluggish and bleary-eyed and cranky the next day. I heard Addy on the monitor around eight, chattering to her toys and flopping around on the bed, and listened, half-awake, for any signs of restlessness or discontent which would more urgently summon my presence. But before that happened, I heard through my haze the ominous turn of the doorknob and the pitter patter of feet down the hallway.
Yes, Addy has learned how to open doors. She's only done it a few times yet, but this morning was the true, inaugural achievement - she got it open on her first try, all casual and nonchalant, then padded around the house like, "Oh, I think I'll go out to the kitchen and start the coffee now, Mom, you want some?" My days of closing the door and knowing her to be safe are over. There is a gate across her doorway as well, but I'm thinking that isn't going to make for pleasant mornings if she manages to open the door only to find herself imprisoned yet again. We'll see.
So anyways, she comes in and jumps on me, and the smell of urine wakes me up in the way that only urine can. I got up and followed her down the hall, and from there it seemed to be just one power struggle after another.
I wanted to change her diaper before it soaked the living room carpet where she sat, but Addy wanted to run in circles around the house looking for Daddy. (Let me tell you, it's not easy to carry a furious, writhing toddler to her room and accomplish a diaper change while protecting your protruding abdomen from getting kicked. Quite the morning workout.) I wanted five minutes of peace in which to pee and brush my teeth, but she wanted to horrify me by uncapping my deodorant and rubbing it all over her face while I was on the toilet, and then celebrate by chewing on my toothbrush. I wanted to let the dog outside, Addy wanted to block my path to the door and cry hysterically- she seems unshakably convinced, despite no evidence to support her theory, that one of these mornings I am going to walk outside with the dog and never come back.
Then I wanted us to eat breakfast- bowl of Life and cup of juice for Addy, her favorite, and a couple of frozen waffles for me. Addy wanted to not her cereal and eat bites of my waffle while rubbing syrup into her hair. Then, while I'm standing at the sink trying to scrub last night's meatloaf out of the pan, I realize the dog sounds a little too happy and turn around to see Addy tossing soggy handfuls of cereal at him- and ON him. His hairy back was splattered with milk and partially dissolved Life, while he happily bathed the already none-too-clean floor with his gummy tongue. What followed was almost an hour of cleaning up Addy, the dog, the dirty spot on the floor, and then, because I realized there was no point in having one shiny clean spot when the rest of the floor was filthy, a full-on mop job.
Some days I just want to be one of those people who gets up- even if to a blaring alarm- and only takes care of their own needs for the first hour or so of their day. What must that be like? No child needing changed and fed and cleaned up and dressed, no dog whining piteously to go outside and then needing fresh food and water, no dishes or messes awaiting my attention. Just the bathroom, to be used when and for however long I like, and coffee, to be drunk while reading the paper or checking my email. Breakfast, to be eaten as soon as I get hungry rather than as soon as I get a chance. Showers to be taken and outfits to be deliberated over, makeup and hair products to be used without having them snatched from the counter and applied to the floor instead.
So I know, I know, we all love being mothers and wouldn't trade places with our single selves for a million dollars and all that- but what do you miss? What part of single life or childless life do you think of wistfully every now and then?

9 comments:

Mommy Daisy said...

Oh oh, me too. Sign me up for that free morning. Wait, that's exactly what my husbadn gets every day. Grr!

I do miss being able to leave the house when I want to and not worry about taking clothes, diapers, food, when do we need to eat, when do we need to be back for a nap or bedtime, etc. Or going out to dinner just the hubby and I. (We don't have nearby babysitters, so we almost always have to take him along when we go anywhere.)

Mimi said...

I so miss going out to dinner all the time and seeing every new movie that came out. I also miss pedicures and massages. I still get to do these things every once in a while, but it's not quite the same having to find a babysitter first and then having to worry about my son every second that he's not with me.

Jana said...

I miss sleeping in on Saturday mornings. I miss listening to non-kid music in the car. I miss going to the bathroom by myself. I miss my once perky boobs. But even if I could, I wouldn't change a thing about my life now. Except maybe the boob thing.

Jennifer Playgroupie said...

Are we living parallel lives? Seriously, you described my mornings. I remember having the belly and wrestling a kicking toddler, it's not easy!

I miss having uninterupted sleep, sleeping in, and going to bed late.

Anonymous said...

I am in your exact situation, (due in September with a busy 20 month old).

I have just come back from a 4 day work trip (I usually only work 1 day a week) where all I had to do was take care of myself. I got to file and paint my nails, take long baths and shave my legs... take time to put on makeup and a "tidy" looking outfit (ie not yoga pants and a tank). It was fun to pretend to be single again but I definatley missed my family.

I have resolved (no matter how tired I am) to set the alarm each morning and get up 1/2 hour before my toddler to shower and get myself ready. Today was my first day - and the little bit of alone time in the morning was invaluable for waking up, and getting myself together. It just feels like I had a head start on the day. It has done wonders for my attitude to feel put together again. This is way more valuable than the extra laying around in bed waiting to be summoned by a toddler. Try it, it is worth that 1/2 hour of sleep!

Devan said...

I miss eating in peace. Out in public or at home. I miss going to the movie theater when I wanted to see a new show. I miss actually hearing what the Priest has to say in church. I miss my old body. I miss my old brain. I miss eating a cookie without a 2 year old screaming for it. I miss sleeping past 5:30 am. I miss sleeping, period. I miss having my hair cut in a salon. I miss having room in the cart to put actual groceries.
I miss my husband and the fact that we used to actually have something besides the kids to talk about, and we even used to have dates.

There's a lot I miss about my life before kids. I'm not sad I had kids, and the fact that I love them goes without saying. I'm still entitled to miss all those things though.

CAQuincy said...

Oh God. I have read I don't know how many million times that if the Mom wants to have a peaceful, put-together, a-little-time-to-herself morning, that she should try to wake up at least a half-hour to an hour before the kids. AS IF! I just can't do it! So my mornings--specifically the weekend ones--are always spent playing catch-up to eating breakfast, showering, getting dressed, and I'm not properly put together until after noon--when it's naptime--and my husband finally bothers to get out of bed. So I spend most of the day cranky and stinky and wishing that I hadn't been so groggy at 6am that I actually followed that column's advise and got my saggy-butt out of bed instead of trying to sneak in just 15 more minutes until the oldest and middle child get up and the chaos ensues (only the baby is a late sleeper--lucky girl!).

Whew! Anyway, I miss my previously-perky boobs, my unstretched-out belly and my not-so-secretary-spread butt. And I miss dinner and a movie with my favorite date--whom I don't have to call "Dad" ONCE the whole time.

But I still wouldn't change a thing--except maybe for "Daddy" getting up and helping me with the kids a weekend here or there.

jen said...

this morning I was listening to a song that for some reason reminds me of a particular drive I took the february before I got pregnant. Nothing special, I was giong home from walmart and it was snowing and the roads were awful but anyhow I was thinking that was before I got pregnant, before I knew what I was getting into, and then I got really really lonely for a moment when I tried to imagine myself here, in the house alone, where things stay clean and don't mysteriously change places. Suddenly my arms felt very very empty... I know that sounds cheesy but what did I ever do with myself?

The only thing I miss is the house staying clean! I'd clean stuff and it'd stay that way. No sandy footprints, dog food stayed in the dish, I could see out the windows, there wasn't dry cereal in my radiators... but that's okay. I'll miss it someday I'm sure.

Dooneybug said...

I have a 12 month old and am due at the end of August with #2. This morning when I went to get him out of his crib, I kept finding all these chunky pieces of stuff on his sheet. I couldn't figure out what the heck it was so I just picked it up off the mattress and threw it away. Well I figured out when I put him down for nap time that he must have thrown up at some point because his blanket was covered in vomit. Nice.

I miss being able to go out to the movies and dinner any time I want without having to arrange a babysitter and pay even more money in order to do it. I miss the quiet mornings where my husband and I would sleep in as late as we wanted, waking up and snuggling. Some days I even miss going to work, although those are small in number. I miss having money! :)