Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Hot Mama

You know that slogan for Motherhood Maternity? "Motherhood. It's hot!" It sure is. Hot as in, retaining about ten pounds of water yet still somehow peeing every hour on the hour, having a face as round and swollen as a balloon, calves the size of an elephant's, and galumphing around in a near-constant state of clammy sweat due to the ninety degree weather. It's hot as in, hair that's frizzing up uncontrollably, partly due to the heat and partly because I no longer have the will to try to tame it with anything but a rubber band. And nothing is so hot as getting heartburn every time I eat ANYTHING and then make the mistake of lying down afterwards. Hot is taking a quick shower and then feeling weak and nauseous afterwards and needing to lie down and drink a glass of water.
Heidi Klum I am not. My hair is not sleek and my face is puffy and un-made-up and beginning to break out from the humidity. I am dressed in shorts and T-shirts which are inevitably grubby by the time Jim gets home. I am somewhat tan from my few ventures outdoors recently, the one silver lining of all this sudden summer. At least I tan easily. But overall, I feel as sexy and hot and stylish as, say, a beached whale, slowly and miserably dying in the sun. I can't believe I still have at least two and maybe three more months of this.
But I am grateful that I am still pregnant and with no pre-term labor signs yet other than a few random Braxton-Hicks. A girl Jim works with just had a baby very early- it weighed around two pounds, I think. That must be incredibly hard and stressful to have to deal with visiting a newborn in the hospital and pumping breast milk and worrying constantly while also recovering from birth yourself. My prayers are with her and her family.
And so, even as I am miserable and sweaty and so SICK of being pregnant today, I am also very grateful that this little guy is still safely ensconced in my belly, even if he (and my intestines) are getting more and more cramped every day! You just stay put for now, little one. Maybe get off my bladder, though.

5 comments:

Swistle said...

Pregnancy during hot weather is AWFUL. Also, I think Heidi Klum hires a body double to walk around pretending to be Pregnant Heidi Klum, while the REAL Heidi Klum is beached on the couch all puffy like every other pregnant human female.

Devan said...

I have vowed to have all my babies during Jan, Feb, March, & April just for this reason. I swell and am miserably hot even then, I can't even imagine July & August. I feel for you!
As for Heidi Klum, well it's best to keep my thoughts about her to myself. ;)

jess said...

AMEN sister ;)

On top of the hilarious description you just gave of my current state, I now have poison ivy all over my arms and back from this weekend. It kept me up all night last night itching. Could I be more miserable?

Oh, and Adam's Dad was so kind as to remind me that one of his coworkers had a 10 pound 6 ounce baby last week. Can I say ouch??

Jennifer said...

I feel for you, I really do.

Lisa said...

You're giving me flashbacks to last summer when my feet were unrecognizable by the end of he day:)
Hang in there and don't go past your EDD...I did and I don't recommend it.