I realized I've been using this blog to complain a lot lately, so I'm going to take today and just itemize those things which I'm happy about.
Item One: The doctor did not scold me overmuch about Adelay's cracker-based diet, but seemed more to feel that I am probably doing my best to offer a balanced menu, and the ball is now in Addy's court, so to speak. (He did, however, give me a stern little speech about not putting her to bed with the bottle ever again. I squirmed a little.)
Item Two: Though the extremely gray and rainy weather has not done much for the spirits, it has been refreshing to experience a January without its usual grim sidekicks, bitter, sleety wind and snow. I also do not miss the icy roads and treacherous, slippery driveways which ordinarily make carting around a toddler in the winter such a particular pleasure.
Item Three: No bleeding whatsoever since Friday! Now I'm sure it was just from the exam, and am feeling confident again about this pregnancy. I also got a little pep talk in the form of a sermon from one of our good friends, who basically said that you can't live your life always fearing pain (in my case the emotional pain of losing a baby,) or you will miss out on the fullness of the life you are meant to experience. Sometimes painful experiences are part of the package, but if you sit around dreading them and expecting the worst, you just sort of suck the joy out of what you have right now. So, my belated New Year's Resolution: Enjoy being pregnant (even when queasy and exhausted) instead of fretting every day about my fear of the unknown.
Well, that's all the specifics I'm able to come up with at the moment. The weather does kind of drag my mood down, honestly, not to mention the house, which has slowly but surely fallen into a state of dust-covered messiness due to my constant napping. Also, it's a bit of an effort to be overflowing with gratitude when I had to spend the morning waiting in an exam room with a restless baby, then have the doctor recommend that I take her to an orthopedist because of her delayed walking. Even though he hastened to assure me that it was just a precaution and she is likely fine ( just a little too fond of her knee-walking method to give it up yet,) it was still not what I was hoping to hear. And then, of course, there was the obligatory holding down of my poor unsuspecting baby with the help of another nurse, while the third jabbed her little legs and arm.
Can I just say, I'm getting a little sick of being in medical offices of all sorts? In the past couple of months, I think between Addy and I and all of my blood draws and everything, I've been in one or another doctor's office at least once a week. And I have another ultrasound on Thursday (I do enjoy seeing the baby, don't get me wrong. I just enjoy seeing it a little more when the view is not provided by a strangely phallic looking device covered in a condom. If you know what I mean.)
Whoops, I'm complaining again! But actually, I just thought of one more thing to be thankful for: At least, if I have to clean, I can do it to the sounds of Angels and Airwaves while Addy takes her extra long, post-shot nap!
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2 comments:
I lovvvvvvvvvvvvvvve Angels & Airwaves!! I had several other comments to make, but the mention of the music at the end completely distracted me! I liked Blink-182, but I always greatly preferred the songs sung by Tom DeLonge to the songs sung by the other guy, so I was really happy when Tom DeLonge went off to be the lead singer of his own group.
Let's see. What were my other comments? Oh, yes. One: I try not to worry so much, either, but it is so very very hard. Sometimes it feels as if by worrying, I'm preventing it from actually happening. Or at least that by worrying, I'm preparing for the possibility and therefore won't be totally blindsided if the worst were to happen. Two: I had my first, um, "internal" ultrasound during this pregnancy, and holy crap that's intrusive.
Oh yeah it is! Wow, lucky, you've never had one before now? I think I've had about ten, between Addy and the miscarriage and now this pregnancy. I have no dignity left whatsoever!
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