Habits of Highly Successful Moms

Rundown of day thus far:
9am- I awake to learn that Jim will be working for home, which was why the alarm had not wakened me sooner. Addy still asleep, after going to bed at 10 last night following her one and only nap, taken at 6:30 pm.
9:30am- We all eat breakfast of cream cheese coffee cake while watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (Jim working at desk in family room.)
11am- I try to put a cranky Adelay down for her morning nap, which does not happen. She rejoins us in the family room, where I am still on the couch nibbling bland things, and wanders around, strewing DVD's and Cheerios everywhere.
12pm- Still unshowered, in sweats, but have managed to brush teeth. Prepare lunch of Dora the Explorer chicken soup, which Adelay rejects but Jim and I eat. Surprisingly delicious, but it could be my morning sickness talking.
12:30pm- Adelay finally lays down for a nap. She is also still wearing last night's pajamas. I return to the family room to man my post on the couch, now eating a toasted cheese sandwich while watching yet another movie.
1:30pm- Movie is a long one. I am vaguely aware of laundry in both the dryer and the washer that needs attention, but decide instead to replenish my water glass. Hear noises from Addy's room on the monitor.
2pm- Adelay up again, having been awakened by her dirty diaper. I, while changing it, have to force down the retching in my throat at the smell.
3pm- Movie finally over. Adelay has slight fever (teething, I think,) and has been fairly lethargic, cuddling on my lap and sucking listlessly at her bottle. She is now growing restless, though, so, like a good mom, I put her in her playpen with a kid movie so I can begrudgingly do the laundry.
4pm- Realize that my mom will be here in an hour to pick up Adelay for her portrait session, and she is still unbathed and covered in saltine crumbs. As am I myself, come to think of it.
4:30pm- Attempt to put an unhappy but clean baby in a beautiful but probably uncomfortable dress. Try to style hair, which is still damp because Addy has refused to let me towel dry it. Dressing process takes about fifteen minutes. We proceed to the kitchen, where I find Addy some graham cracker bites which I hope will not mess up her face or outfit. She wolfs them down, stopping only to shove soggy handfuls in my mouth as well. My shirt now looks like a used napkin.
5pm- Mom arrives, to much fanfare and adoration from Adelay. They bustle out the door, and I feel both lonely and relieved. Also ravenous, though I don't think I've really stopped eating all day. I heat up two croissant pockets (total calories: 620,) scarf them down, and start scrounging for the next thing to eat.
5:30pm- Jim leaves for his boxing class. I am still unshowered, in sweats, stuffing my face. As I wander into the kitchen for the hundredth time, I realize that from certain angles, my stomach looks about four months pregnant already.
Well, whoever you are, wherever you are, I betcha that just made your day look a whole lot more productive. You're welcome!