Thursday, March 08, 2007

It's A Beautiful Day

I have an anthem today, courtesy of U2. Also courtesy of the stars all being aligned in my favor and my actually having a day in which all the pieces fell into place! I got Adelay ready and dropped off at her aunt's house on time, got to the doctor's office on time and even looking pretty decent, got in and out of a crowded OB's office in under an hour, and... My baby is alive and well! I got to hear it's galloping little heartbeat for the first time today on the Doppler, and I have to say, it doesn't sound any less amazing than it did two years ago. I had the nice nurse today, and she left the Doppler on my belly for several minutes. We both just listened and smiled. I think it's so nice that she can still be touched by things like that, even when she's heard them a million times. I know I was touched. We made it, baby! I thought, a little amazed. We have made it safely to the other side of three months!
Then I worked up my courage and asked the doctor about the doula thing (I found one, by the way!) and he was surprisingly pleasant about it. I had kind of braced myself for a reluctant approval, but he said he's actually worked with doulas before and has no problem with it, "Just so long as the baby is doing fine,"- but that's to be expected.
Then I stopped into the local coffeehouse (where I worked for a year and met my husband) to pick up lunch, and ran into a bunch of people I haven't talked to for awhile. And someone accidentally messed up someone's latte order, so one of the girls behind the counter who knew me gave me the "accident" latte for free!
I got to my sister-in-law's house and found Addy playing contentedly with her cousin, which always makes me happy. As much as I like to be missed, it's also reassuring to me when she sees me come in the door and barely looks up. I know she was fine without me, and I feel much better the next time I have to leave her. So we had a really nice lunch together, lattes and everything, while the kids played nicely, and I got to enjoy adult conversation for an hour! It was great.
Then I drove Adelay home (in the SUNSHINE!) and fixed her lunch. As I went to sit her down in her highchair, kissing all over her little head as usual because I'm annoying like that, she grasped my face between her hands and gave me a big, long kiss back. Her little face was so serious and intent. Then she pulled away and smiled benevolently upon me. There, the message seemed to be. I love you too.
I felt my throat closing up in the manner of annoying, overly sentimental mothers everywhere. I wanted to offer her the world, if only she would promise to offer me such sweet, uncomplicated affection even when she becomes a teenager and I am old and embarrassing. Please always love me like this, I was thinking. And I realized how vulnerable it makes you, to love a child so much. It's worse than a high school romance. Your heart is just lying there, waiting to be trampled. And to be sent soaring.
And then the song came on the radio... I am a big sucker for sappy songs. If they catch me in the right mood, well, I just have to swoop that little baby up and dance her around the kitchen. These are the days that make all the others worth it.

"Beautiful Day"

The heart is a bloom
Shoots up through the stony ground
There's no room
No space to rent in this town

You're out of luck
And the reason that you had to care
The traffic is stuck
And you're not moving anywhere

You thought you'd found a friend
To take you out of this place
Someone you could lend a hand
In return for grace

It's a beautiful day
Sky falls, you feel like
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away

You're on the road
But you've got no destination
You're in the mud
In the maze of her imagination

You love this town
Even if that doesn't ring true
You've been all over
And it's been all over you

It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
It's a beautiful day

Touch me
Take me to that other place
Teach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case

See the world in green and blue
See China right in front of you
See the canyons broken by cloud
See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out
See the Bedouin fires at night
See the oil fields at first light
And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colors came out

It was a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
Beautiful day

Touch me
Take me to that other place
Reach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case

What you don't have you don't need it now
What you don't know you can feel it somehow
What you don't have you don't need it now
Don't need it now
Was a beautiful day

3 comments:

Mommy Daisy said...

Ahh, I like that song too. It really does fit today. I LOVE big baby kisses! I'm so glad that I have a "lovie" little boy. He comes to me every so often while playing and cuddles. Then he leans in and kisses. It's adorable when he kisses he has this kind of sigh/ahhh sound going on. Too cute!! I eat it up!

I'm so glad to hear that your appointment went well. Good growing baby! And the heartbeats are so precious. Always made me want to cry!

Swistle said...

I'm so glad the baby is doing well!

And a day with an accident latte? What could be better?

Kelli in the Mirror said...

great song indeed.

and baby heartbeat! isn't that the best sound? congrats!