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The above is a truly hilarious blog post about the various interesting stereotypes one may encounter, at any time, in any Wal-Mart in the world. Since I was in said evil giant corporation just today, I thought I would add my own two cents about the negative/positive aspects of an average trip to ye olde Wally World.
First off, as mentioned in the post I refer to, you have your truly obese people filling their carts with family-size bags of fried grease fried in fried frying oil (as Dave Barry would say.) An example of this would be the other day, when the woman behind me, about as wide as she was tall, began piling the belt with generic soda, cheez-puffs, potato chips, bags of candy, and marshmallows. Seriously. That was it, that was the purchase. Nary an apple or a stick of celery in sight. No cleaning products, no personal products. Just crap. Behind the woman stood her three children, all of whom were well on their way to juvenile-onset diabetes, and were clawing at the candy bar display as though they were on the brink of starvation.
Now before everyone starts scolding me to get off my judgemental high horse, let me say that I too purchase unhealthy snacks on a fairly regular basis. And maybe this woman's cupboards were stocked to the brim with brown rice and broccoli and whole grain cereals, I don't know. It's very possible the family was just on a quick fun-food run. It happens. I'm just saying... It was hard not to jump to judgemental conclusions, what with the giant bags of powdered cheese puffs and the children, huffing and puffing with exhaustion from their long walk around the store.
My next favorite sight on your average trip to the Mart is the truly evil mothers (who I notice are usually shopping in pairs, with their mom or sister or fellow whore or something) who are perpetually slapping their toddlers in the face and screaming "Shut the f--- up!" every other time the kid speaks or moves, then resuming their loud, yakky conversations about their most recent STD or cheating boyfriend. The kids are usually shoeless, pale, and just generally very Oliver Twist.
And I HATE their moms. They make my jaw clench and my heart race, and while I have never yet gone up to someone and asked them to pick on someone their own size, for fear the mom would simply take it out on the kid later, I have sent many a (hopefully) disgusted glare in their direction. I wish I were braver in this regard. I worked with a woman once who was arrested for punching a mom in Toys'R'Us after she saw the mom slap her son in the face. I think the mom was arrested, too, though. Good, heartwarming story any way you look at it!
Now for a compliment to Wal-Mart. Best place to fill Easter baskets, hands down. When your town doesn't have a Target, anyways. Cheapest place to buy face, hair, and makeup products. Cheapest place to buy diapers that I know of. Decent selection of inexpensive yet cute lamps, picture frames, candles, etc.
But still. Do these pros outweigh the cons? Not usually, which is why I have recently decided to drop Wal-Mart as a regular shopping destination, using the slightly more expensive local grocery instead, and Wal-Mart simply as a once-a-month or so stop to pick up diapers and wipes and foundation.
Anyone else have a fun and/or horrifying Wal-Mart tale?
Oh yeah, and please do note with slightly condescending pride that I have at long last realized there is a freakin' button right there at the top of my screen with which to make proper links. Expect to have any mentions of your blog handle highlighted and linked from now on! Yay for me being slowly led into the light of computer literacy!