Here's a question I've never yet seen answered in any of my baby care books: How the heck do you get your squirmy, angry toddler to hold still in order that you may trim her toenails without in the process removing several of her actual toes? I'm not just venting here, I really, really want the answer to this. Please, if you have any ideas, let me know!
I tried laying her down on the changing table, giving her a toy to look out, and then sneakily trimming away. I didn't get even one little squeeze of the baby clippers in for all the thrashing that ensued the moment I grasped her fat little foot. Then I sat her on my lap and gave her usually forbidden Mommy items like eye cream and lip gloss to examine while I went about my clipping and trimming. Again, I nearly chopped her pinky toe off, but got nowhere with the actual nails, which have gotten so long they are beginning to curl down a little (and how disgusting is that? She looks like a raggedy little homeless baby!)
At last, I took her to the kitchen and strapped her in her high chair, put crackers and a sippy cup on the tray, and then oh-so-casually knelt down to trim the nails while she ate. I was figuring that she couldn't really squirm as much when she was belted into her chair. I was wrong. Kneeling at a person's feet when they're kicking wildly is not the smartest idea I've ever had, I must say. Nor was giving her the hard plastic sippy cup, which she promptly threw at my head.
In the half hour that was filled with all these humiliating antics, I managed to trim off a grand total of one toenail. Addy is now in bed, reading her book, cuddling her beloved "bwenkie," and reveling in the triumph of her still uncut toenails. And me? I am writing The World's Most Pathetic Blog Post To Date and reveling in marked-down Valentine's candy.