Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Security Fork

Oh, what, your kids don't have one of these? Your kids don't sob and sob when you get them down from their high chair, clinging fiercely to their greasy utensil as though the fork itself were the source of all nourishment? Your kids don't wail and lay prostrate on the (dirty) kitchen floor when you pry the syrup-covered fork from their hand in order that you may load the dishwasher? And you don't then take pity on their neurosis, and rinse the fork off really well and hand it back to them, to be toted triumphantly around the house all day?
No? Just me? Well, what about pudding cups? Your kids do take pudding snack packs with them everywhere they go, right? But not to eat, of course. To hold. To fondle lovingly and then to squeeze around the middle with both hands until you, the mommy, fear an imminent chocolate pudding explosion all over the car. And then at night, you tuck your kids into bed with their snack packs, right? And in the morning, when you come in to find the pudding hurled to the floor, your kid brightens and jumps in the bed, pointing at the pudding and yelling, inexplicably, "Bwenkie! Bwenkie!" when they clearly want that snack pack. And you bend down and retrieve it, and then retrieve the three actual bwenkies which have also been tossed overboard at some point in the night, and then you have to let your kid hold all of these items, blankets and pudding, simultaneously, in order for them to lie still for their morning diaper change.
In a different vein, here is a household hint worthy of Heloise for all of you who are digging yourselves out, Swistle-style: Once you actually get the marbles and Cheerios off the floor and are prepared to vacuum, change the bag and then put a dryer sheet or two in the empty bag before you run it. It will make the whole room smell fresh as a daisy!
If you have a canister to empty instead of a bag, I don't think this will work the same way. Sorry. No daisy freshness for you.


Mommy Daisy said...

OH man, you made me laugh so hard! Then I got coughing, thanks. (I have a bad cold, so the hysterical laughing just triggered the coughing.) I'm just picturing this whole scenerio in my head. I guess Zachariah doesn't have any strange attachments...yet. Addy's a bit older, so she's had a bit more time to grow fond of these things. :D But, as long as it's not hurting her (a knife might - just might- be a bad idea), let her have it. It's probably just a stage. Cute, though!

Swistle said...

Funny funny funny.

Great tip on the dryer sheet. I have some of those Downy intensely-scented ones (dark purple and dark pink and dark blue boxes), and they're a little strong in the laundry but I'll bet they'd be perfect for the vacuum cleaner.

Tessie said...

This reminds me of Adam Sandler:



Great entry. I mosied on over from Swistle's.

Anonymous said...

Were you aware that she also loves to caress and mutilate the yogurt filled breakfast bars in the very shiny wrappers? On her Tuesday night visits, she has man-handled the same two yogurt bars for a month and they seem to delight her (and would be much less disruptive if exploded upon contact with the floor) You might give them a try as "pudding substitute".

Anonymous said...

Note to self: buy extra forks and puddings for Maddie. Apparently, she's going to need them one day.

coffee stained said...

love this entry.

daughter has always been hooked on security objects. when she was < 1 she always wanted to hold this plastic Dora bubble wand and carried it around with pride. now that she's 17 mos, she needs to have 2 blankies, 2 pacies, her kitty, her puppy and her teletubby all to go to sleep in her crib. if she takes on one more thing, she may drown in there.

I like the dryer sheet idea. I need to do that now.