Monday, February 05, 2007

My Just Desserts

Oh. My. Gosh. That was a good shower, as showers go, but I ate so much. And it was glorious, I cannot tell a lie. Then, two hours later we went to a Superbowl party, and I ate so much all over again. And again, it was blissful. But payback is a cruel, cruel mistress.
I was basically immobilized in bed for two hours until I fell asleep, not tired, but afraid to even move lest all that cake and frosting and chocolate torte, yogurt pie, chicken sandwiches, spice cookies, and chili, come spewing up from where it hovered precariously, churning in my esophagus. I looked pregnant yesterday for sure, let me tell you. Once the uterus starts growing, your food has nowhere to go but out- when you stuff yourself like a gluttonous pig, that is. I had to wear one of Jim's long sleeved T-shirts and loop a rubber band through the buttonhole of my jeans and then stretch it over to the button to make them fit. Yep, that's me, at two months along. Bursting out of my clothes.
This morning I look normal again, much to my relief. And I feel normal too, which worries me. I am a little queasy, but not overwhelmed with nausea. My back, which has been killing me for the past two days, is momentarily fine. No headaches, not even more tired than usual. Is this okay? I'll think, surreptitiously checking to see if my boobs are still "tender and swollen." (Here's a hint: If you keep poking them long enough, they will be soon! And here's another hint: Maybe don't be checking them in front of your husband all the time, or he might think something a little more, er, recreational is going on.)
Does this happen to anyone else? You wallow in self-pity in the throes of your first trimester misery, but just let the misery abate for a little while and then you're miserable for a whole new reason. What does this mean, if I feel fine? I'm still pregnant, aren't I? I mean, what if something has just, I don't know, stopped working in there?
It drives me insane, this waiting time before you can feel the baby move and aren't constantly on guard for signs of the dreaded "m" word. I'm even more nervous this time since when I miscarried in September, I didn't really know anything was wrong until we had the ultrasound. So it isn't unreasonable to think something could go wrong and I wouldn't know it until my next appointment. Which, thank God, is on Thursday.
I have to go in today, too, in fact, to do my prenatal paperwork and sign stuff. What stuff? I can only speculate. I know there is something called a Vaginal Birth Consent, which I didn't really look at last time, but that I can only imagine reads something like, "I, the undersigned, consent to have an alien life form take over and feed off of my body for the next seven months, then deliver said life form via a seemingly impossibly small canal. And I am thrilled about it."


Lizzie said...

I'm afraid I can't help since I've never been pregnant myself... but I just wanted to say that I love your blog. It is cute and funny and I wish you and your family the best of luck!

Lisa said...

Oh, how I LOVE reading your blog Sarah. You have a way of putting a smile on my face every day.

I remember always having that "I feel good today so now I'm not pregnant" snydrome every pregnancy and really had to laugh about the boob poking. My husband used to think I was CRAZY for doing that.

Jess said...

I'm glad you had fun yesterday - did you save me some cake? I dreamt of it yesterday.

The doctor put me on phenergan today because they are worried about dehydration. I have thrown up 6 times already today and can't keep anything down. I may have to go to the ER tonight to get fluids through an IV. I'm going to my GI doctor now to check on everything on that end (haha....pun intended) and if my blood pressure is too low I'm going to the ER. I'll keep you updated.

Swistle said...

I do that exact kind of thing. When the OB reassured me that the AFP screen would almost certain come back false-positive for birth defects because I was pregnant with twins (which makes the results artificially high), and then it DIDN'T come back positive, I worried and worried that something had happened to one of the twins. I didn't feel better until I had an ultraound a few weeks later.

Also, I've worried with every single pregnancy when my chest didn't get sore and swollen like it was supposed to.

Mommy Daisy said...

I'm glad the shower went so well.

I understand what you're saying about worrying. Try to relax and just leave it in God's hand. (I know...that's so much easier said than done.) I worried a lot the first trimester of my pregnancy. We'd waited so long for a baby, so when I found out I was pregnant I was horrified that something bad would happen. Then I had a medical problem...long story short I had to have a cat scan of my head to rule out problems. By doing that there was a risk of miscarriage. (All of this when I was only 6 weeks pregnant and had just found out I was expecting a week before). So I spent the next month and a half worrying that I could still miscarry. We had lots of ultrasounds, though, so that helped. And I was lucky to feel movement pretty early. I still had a great pregnancy and a great little guy to show for it now.

SO, try to take it easy for now. You're not the only one who's worried. I think every woman carries a world of worries with them while pregnant.

Kelli in the Mirror said...

Yup. My pregnancy's gone the exact same way. I lost one last January and have been rather paranoid through this last eight months. It's just now getting better since I technically could deliver anytime and be fine.

Now my worries have moved on to productive things like "I don't remember this pain in my hips from last time...what if I have cancer and they're attributing all my whining to pregnancy and I'm really going to die before the baby's weaned like in that Danielle Steel book?"

Fun times, lemme tell ya...

Regina said...

Wow! Just followed a link to your blog and had a good giggle at this post. It is my nipples that are tender when I am pregnant so the touching always looks super suggestive and I'm not even conscious that I'm doing it the car...buying playgroup. I'm sure people think I have an infected nipple ring.

Anyways - your reproductive life (from the short amount that I have read) mirrors mine. I have a 16 month old son - I miscarried this past fall - and I am now exactly 10 weeks pregnant and ultra paranoid that I will stop feeling pregnant at any second.

Fun writing, and even better to read when you have something in common...Thanks for sharing and keep healthy!