Monday, February 19, 2007

Countdown to Second Trimester

Our unborn baby is now the size of a fig, is 1 1/2 to 2 inches long, and weighs... Oh, I forget. Something very minuscule. But a fig! I enjoyed that comparison, received today in my weekly update from Baby Center (and yes, yes, I know Baby Center is just a giant front for Wal-Mart!) I mean, before it was "Your baby is the size of a grain of rice," and then it was "The size of a peanut." But a fig! That's giant!
Also, according to common wisdom, I should be feeling better in a week or two. I sort of remember that being true with Adelay. I think I didn't really feel back to normal until fourteen or fifteen weeks, though, last time. But still, while I don't actually feel all that much better yet, the anticipation that I will soon helps mentally at least.
Pregnancy is so weird. It's like having the flu, or maybe mono, for almost three months, but with less medicine and sympathy. (This does not apply to my husband, who has been unfailingly nice.) Also, with less of that thinned down/sickly look and more of that "someone needs to lay off the Oreos" look.
I have to be honest and say I have felt less excitement and more depression this time around. I think that's probably normal, right? I mean, I always knew I would feel this way about the second baby- I didn't fear one child, but once you've got two, both hands are full all the time, and there's no going back. So these moments of dread (induced when I hear people say things like, "You know, your second pregnancy/birth/child will be totally different than your first, so if you had it easy the first time, look out!") are not unexpected, but they still make me want to freeze time indefinitely, until I feel ready to crawl out of my silent screaming panic attack and rejoin reality.
Why do people say such mean things to new parents? Is it human nature, to try to convince people that, no matter what they've experienced thus far, you've had it worse? It's like with the labor horror stories. I mean, good Lord, the baby's coming out one way or another, so why not try to reassure the new mother about the process instead of terrifying her? People put so much effort into it you'd think they were trying to talk to you out of giving birth altogether: "Just don't go into labor. Keep that baby in there for the next eighteen years. It's much safer in there anyways."
One of my friends who is newly married says that all the women in her workplace harass her constantly with, "Oh, you'll never be able to have a baby with hips like that! Oh, you'll have c-sections for sure, or else have the most awful deliveries ever!" I mean, what the h? Why would you say things like that? (Now, I myself harass her a bit about being so darn skinny, too, but it has nothing to do with her childbearing abilities. It has to do with her thighs being the size of my upper arms. It's a little annoying to watch her scarf down desserts with gusto and never gain a pound. But I am working on this is!)
So, to everyone with labor/birth/childrearing horror stories that you're just itching to pass on: Lie! Lie your pants off! Remember what your mother told you: If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything.

3 comments:

Mommy Daisy said...

Oh, I detest people who give all this unwated advice/stories. Who asked you anyway? I'm with you, why do they think it's necessary to make us feel worse than we already are? (Especially in that first trimester.) Ahh, just ignore them and remember what fun it was the first time around. This time will be even better. Remember, you've done this before. You're an old pro. This will be a piece of cake. Honestly I enjoyed every moment of pregnancy (didn't even complain about the months of sickness). And I had several other comlications, like spending 2 days in the hospital at only 6 weeks along. (Which was concerning, because we'd tried for 1 1/2 years to finally get pregnant.) Then I couldn't drive for 6 months after that. But I just enjoyed being pregnant and anticipating this little life I'd soon be knowing. And it's easier just not to think about the delivery. Think about how much fun it will be to hold a teeny, tiny, newborn again. When they just sleep in your arms and snuggle close. Ok, ok, if I keep this up, I'll be in your condition (pregnant) sooner than later. :D I do hope that your morning sickness with wear off very soon.

On another subject, I hope I didn't snub you at church yesterday. I stopped on my way out of the sanctuary to talk to Kevin. Then as I turned to walk away, I noticed Jim was nearby. I didn't get a chance to say hi. I was on my way to the nursery. Anyway, later in the day, I realized that you were probably right there and I didn't even notice. I should have paid more attention and said hello. Sorry 'bout that.

desperate housewife said...

Oh, gosh, don't worry about it! I probably snug a half dozen people every time I walk in and out of church. It's unavoidable; you can't say hi to everyone.

Swistle said...

When I was pregnant with the twins, I had people telling me stories of women they knew who were pregnant with twins and then one twin died, or both died. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??? It wasn't just one fluke person who lost her mind, either, it was many people and many stories. I never knew what to say. Usually I went with "Oh, dear. How sad."

Yay for figs! Next up: citrus fruits!

"Someone needs to lay off the Oreos"--ha ha ha ha ha ha!