Monday, February 04, 2008

How To Feel Like Crap

1. Get a cold/cough which seems to be getting better, than turns around and gets worse.

2. Arrive home to a distinctly unpleasant odor. Search house and find that the dog has vomited all over your bed.

3. Be up half the night with apparent food poisoning.

4. Live in a state where it is gray and gloomy and foggy approximately one hundred and five percent of the time.

5. Have to drag children out in said gloomy rainy weather to a well-child visit, meaning you have to carry your eight pound purse, your ten pound diaper bag and your seventeen and a half pound child in one arm while holding a toddler's hand with the other.

6. Have child take enormous crap while in doctor's office, and realize that your diaper bag is out of wipes. Spend ten minutes scraping poo particles off child's bum with damp Kleenex while a nurse waits impatiently. Feel like an incompetent idiot.

7. Have to comfort TWO screaming children while baby gets his shots, one of which is red-faced and breathless with outrage and pain, while the other is screeching in a voice probably only dogs can hear, and staring at you in horror for allowing her brother to be injured.

8. Arrive home to realize you are out of toilet paper.

9. Prepare yourself tasty leftover tacos, only to bite into them and remember that you have a cold and therefore, no taste buds. Nor is eating even PLEASANT because you cannot breathe while chewing.

10. Dude. EATING IS NOT EVEN PLEASANT. Is there no comfort in this world?

19 comments:

Jess said...

Number ten is killer. Actually, they all are. Feel better soon!

Pickles & Dimes said...

Oh no to #2 and #6!

I hope you feel better soon!

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

Next time I'm having a bad day, I'll read this post for comparison. Hope today is better...it can only get better, right?!

jen said...

oh man!

So did the nurse actually stand over you breathing, or waiting outside a closed door? I am always petrified that I'll find poop when I open the diaper to strip him naked for being weighed. Or that he'll poop on the scale.

Mommy Daisy said...

Oh no. I hope things start looking up. I know these gray skies don't help my mood either. I love sunny days in the winter. They make my day! We need one and soon!

TheMusingMommy said...

Yikes! Doesn't sound good. Hope you feel better soon...

Erica said...

Wow. That sucks big time. I hope things get better ASAP!

Swistle said...

Oh, man. That's miserable.

The Farmer's Wife said...

What a crapy day. I have been dealing with #1 and that is bad enough I can't imagine having to deal with the rest too. Hang in there.

Mairzy said...

Any one of those would have me writing out invitations for a pity party. All ten... well, what can you do except turn it into a blog post? Hope the cold goes away soon. We're fighting colds here, too.

Jessa said...

I hope you are feeling better soon! That sounds like an absolutely horrific day!

Musings of a Mom said...

I really hope today gets better for you! I've had those kind of dr. visits before. It's an American version of torture.

barb michelen said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Saly said...

I feel like at the very least, the pediatrician would have some wipes to offer you? Seriously.

I hope you feel better. There is a lot of the cold/stomach bug going around here too. Blech.

Saly said...

I feel like at the very least, the pediatrician would have some wipes to offer you? Seriously.

I hope you feel better. There is a lot of the cold/stomach bug going around here too. Blech.

Saly said...

ok...that's weird....

LoriD said...

That does sound sucky. Hope things are looking up now.

Very sweet that your daughter was so protective of her brother, red-faced screaming notwithstanding.

d e v a n said...

ooh, I'm sorry. 10 is just adding insult to injury after a really crappy day.

Penny said...

Ugh, what is WITH this winter?!? Neverending sickness. And I totally hate it when we're out of things to clean our butts with, that's just the last straw.