My maternity pants, my FAVORITE maternity pants, are way too tight this morning. Some foolish helpful person clearly shrunk them in the dryer this week... Or it could be related to the scale's gloomy announcement at the doctor's this week- a whopping ten pounds higher than the week before. I felt so ashamed- no one has ever said a word to me about pregnancy weight gain until last Thursday. But they actually seemed more worried than judgemental, I guess because rapid weight gain is a sign of preclampsia, right? But no, my urine was fine, my blood pressure was fine. I wasn't dilated or effaced any further than last week. Nothing. So basically the diagnosis was either, I am retaining water at a crazy rate, or, just possibly, I need to stop eating so much freaking pie.
Our doula came over yesterday for her last prenatal visit before the actual birth. We went over some final details, and then, as she got up to leave, she reminded me, "Well, the next time I see you, your baby will be coming!" Holy crap, how has it snuck up on me like this? If I go into labor shortly after the bedrest is ended, like last time, that means I have about two weeks! I am freaking out a wee little bit here. So excited, but also getting freaked out. And also, I am determined to not cheat about the bedrest this week because my doula will be in California for the next ten days and well, I REFUSE to have the baby without her. I just do. I am so excited about having her there and feel so much more confident about trying to do it naturally again. (Maybe I am using her as a mental crutch a little bit. I mean, doula or no doula, it's still gonna hurt a whole freaking lot, right? Sigh.)
I am slowly getting a little more indifferent to the general messiness of the house. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise- I'll be less depressed about the chaos of the first few weeks postpartum if I'm already used to the way the house looks now. See how positive I'm being? See what a happy spin I can put on things? The coffee table so covered in crap that I can no longer see the actual table at all is a GOOD thing! The crumbs buried in between every sofa cushion due to my constant snacking are a GOOD thing! We are HAPPY about the clutter and the crumbs!