Saturday, July 21, 2007

In Case You Missed This Month's Issue...

Well, I have nothing better to do than pass along useless and amusing information, and I actually have unlimited use of the laptop today, so, enjoy these ingenious tips from that tome of truth, Cosmo!
For Men: "Your girl might need significantly more foreplay than you do." Is this STILL news?
For Women: "A man who can't keep his paws to himself has sex on the brain." NO....
For All of Us Hair Extension Wearers: Dip the extensions in fabric softener to make them appear more natural. At last, an answer!
For Us Sweaty Pigs Out There: After applying an antiperspirant, "Cover your skin with plastic wrap...This locks the antiperspirant into sweat ducts so it'll work better the next day." How exactly does one go about plastering Saran Wrap to your armpits? And once that is accomplished, how does one walk around their house like that and maintain any respect among members of their family?
A Genius Idea For Staying Cool: Drink a glass of cold water. I can't wait to read their January issue. "Hot tip for staying warm and toasty: Wear a coat!"

But there was an actually interesting article, "Will He Ever Marry You?" (sidenote: can you imagine a men's mag ever featuring such an article? "How To Get Your Wild Woman To Settle Down and Commit Already!) It sited a study by the National Marriage Project, which found that eighty one percent of the married men they surveyed claimed one reason they decided to marry was simply that it was time. I've always believed this- it's basically the "Men As Cabs" theory first proposed by Carrie Bradshaw on Sex and The City- that is, that men drive around having fun, letting different women in and out of their cab, but a certain age comes and they decide they're ready to commit. So they pull over, turn their light on, and the next woman to hop is is "The One." The study also said that ninety four percent of the men surveyed said they were happier married than single, which I also believe. But it's still good to know.


Swistle said...

I totally agree with the "it was time"/"men as cabs" thing.

The fabric softener thing works on some doll hair, too.

Drink water to stay cool? I DON'T BELIEVE IT! And here I've been wearing a scarf and gloves!

jen said...

"I can't wait to read their January issue. "Hot tip for staying warm and toasty: Wear a coat!""


Thirty-One Trendy said...

I just found your blog and love it! Thanks for the laugh.

Wouldn't the saran wrap make you sweat more?!

jess said...

I also agree with the "men as cabs" theory. I was trying to explain this to Adam one night and he kept disagreeing with me.

Men are cabs, whereas women grow up always keeping the possibility of marriage in the back of their minds. That is why we get our hearts broken so many times. We may have met our Mr. Right when we were 17, but he wasn't ready to pull his cab over for us yet.

Good thing is that Mr. Right can come along more than once in a lifetime and that in retrospect, you're glad that 17-year-old crush wasn't ready for marriage.

Devan said...

WTH? Saran wrap your armpits. I'd like to see someone do that successfully.
Shit, I'm wearing my coat now. I should have saved it for January.

Tessie said...

I don't like the sound of "locking antiperspirant into my sweat ducts". That just seems like a pimply rash waiting to happen.

Men as Cabs! I forgot about that! So true. I think for many women as well though.