Sunday, September 27, 2009

One Step Back

Okay, here's a post that, while not exactly upbeat or inspirational, is at least not downright depressing. We're moving in the right direction!

I have a question for you about potty training regression. Addy has been fully potty trained since the end of January this year. Granted, this was late in the game (three years and four months old before she was really good to go) but once she was trained, she was golden- she even stays dry at night.

But all of the sudden, the last couple of weeks, she's either having some kind of forgetfulness issue or a laziness issue, because almost every day we're dealing with at least one accident. Not the I-just-soaked-the-couch-cushion kind of accident, but more the I-waited-way-too-long-to-get-myself-to-the-potty-and-now-I'm-peeing-on-the-bathroom-rug-while-wailing-in-panic kind. And last night, to put the cherry on the sundae, she DID wet the bed. The entire bed: comforter, top sheet, fitted sheet, mattress protector and mattress pad. And of course herself. She woke me up at six forty five to inform me that she needed a bath.

What is going ON? I totally get the occasional bed wetting thing; I know lots of kids her age are still wetting the bed every night, so I'm hardly upset about that, though it would certainly be easier if she had been wearing a Pull-Up! But the daytime stuff is really throwing me. I guess I just need to make her go every couple of hours whether she thinks she needs to or not, huh? It's just weird that for quite a while she was pretty much an independent potty-er, and now all the sudden she's needing all this prompting or else she doesn't make it in time. Is that normal? (For the record, she'll be four on Saturday.)


Jenni said...

I look at three things in these situations:
First, is there some sort of stressor she is going through? Change of parent's schedules, change of routines, big or small (sometimes what we see as small are big to a child)
Second, has her diat changes or appetite? Is she drinking more than typical?
Third, if it has continued on a regular basis for a while, what kind of attention is she getting for it? What is going on just before or just after? Are you busy and then, when she wets herself, does she suddenly get all your attention as you help her change and clean up? Then I would back off of that and just simply state, "okay, here's your change of clothes, go to it" and don't give her attention for it (don't admonish her, but don't let her get your attention for something like this; just go on as business as usual)

Usually, if a child's been completely trained and then back steps it's choice one or three; and more likely three if it's been a long time since she's been completely toilet learned.

Hope that helps!

Scottish Twins said...

Ditto everything Jenni said. Everything I've read said that regression has to do with stress, physical changes, or attention.

When I was younger I had a bedwetting problem, probably around Addy's age. My mother eventually took me to the doctor for it and they found out that I had a physical problem - my ureters weren't working properly/signaling my brain through the night. The issue sort of had to resolve itself.

But my mom told me that in the meantime they had to limit my fluid intake and my mother would have to wake me up at certain intervals through the night, carry me to the potty, make me pee, and put me back in bed. She said sometimes she would do this and I wouldn't even really wake up while doing it.

Also, have you been bringing up potty training with Eli and giving him attention for it? She could be wanting in on the action.

Katy said...

I just want to see what everyone else has to say--sounds like good advice so far!

Kelsey said...

I don't have much advice exactly, but I do vaguely feel like we went through a similar stage w/ Harper and I don't remember it going on for an eternity. And she's not even dry at night - so I think you're still ahead of the game.

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

She may even have a mild bladder infection, so maybe try adding cranberry juice a couple times a day for a few days to see if it helps.

Marie Green said...

Just wanted to add that I have several friends that have had some serious regression (my own 6 yr olds still have accidents sometimes too). So, from experience, I can say that these things can change- QUICKLY- from a "too distracted for a potty break" to an out and out POWER STRUGGLE that now has nothing to do with the original problem.

Also, one of my 6 yr olds is still not dry at night (she wears a pull-up) and the other still waits to long to go and has occasional accidents. I'm thinking maybe by Jr. High they'll be 100% reliable. Hopefully? =)

d e v a n said...

d is 4.5 and still sometimes has those "waited too long" accidents. We have to wake him up every night at around 10, or there's a good chance he won't wake up dry.
O is only 2.5 but for a couple of months was perfectly pt'd. Now? He's having accidents a lot. Who knows...
I'm not sure if it's upcoming changes or what. Pt'ing is such a pain.

jim said...

i think she's just a bit of a control freak and she thinks she has it under control until she doesn't. she doesn't like bodily functions to dictate what she wants to do.

Anonymous said...

My daughter went through somewhat of the same situation but for a very long period of time. The doctor I consulted thought that constipation plays a factor for little girls. If they are even slightly constipated, then the urethra is partially blocked and they will not feel the urge until it is too late. Just something else to check out.

clueless but hopeful mama said...

It seems like so many kids go back and forth with potty training with long periods of no regressions and then BAM the floodgates open. I wish I knew.

I do wonder if my 3 year old reacts to my stress sometimes. When I had a hard week this summer, because of an acquaintance's death, she totally regressed and had a bunch of accidents. Do you think Addy could be unconsciously responding to your recent loss?

Melio (MelissaInk) said...

Possibly a UTI?

Anonymous said...

There Will Be Setbacks is all I can say. The more you are on her about it the worse it's going to be. The best thing you can do is ignore/be cool about the accidents, she'll figure it out. No need to launch into major psychological navel gazing imo, unless something really is different or stressy then yeah, but again, the only way to make that go away is to chill things out and ignore it. My first had THREE setbacks. My second had one (so far!)(*knock wood*)