Ok. Ok ok ok. So we got home from family reunion, which was lovely EXCEPT for falling into a river and spending the subsequent two hours with a bunch of wet, pissed off people whose lunches were floating upstream and EXCEPT for the part where Eli had Horrifying Accidents of a Solid Nature in his underpants about a gazillionty times in a relative's lovely, clean home. And we had one phone lost and one phone sort of clinging to life and four different keys to have made, and amazingly all of that got taken care of pretty quickly and smoothly and I was all, "Nice recovery, family unit!"
And then. And then in one single day: the phone that was valiantly soldiering on completely gave up the ghost, rendering it useless even for contact list retrieval (!!!); I brilliantly tried to put CORN HUSKS down the garbage disposal and completely clogged out entire sink system, including the (single) bathtub/shower, which is currently a swamp of murky water with random corn silk balls bobbing despondently therein; and Eli developed some mysterious stomach ailment just as I took the kids over to my parents' house to bathe, which led him (omg omg omg) to POOP on their WHITE FRESHLY STEAM CLEANED CARPET twice. omg omg omg.
It was so bad, you guys. And thank heavens it was obviously scotch guarded or something, because I couldn't believe I got those stains out. I was seriously SWEATING in panic, while the previously potty trained boy was running around in diapers for the first time in about three weeks and doubtless ruining all his progress.
Arrgh. So to sum up: piles of dishes, including a crock pot of barbecued ribs, which have sat untouched by dishwasher for two days; an impressive number of soiled and/or ruined underpants which REE-HEALLY need laundered; and a ticking time bomb of a toddler sipping on Pedialyte. So I may as well just say it and get it over with: after five days of attempting to swish/soak/rinse fecal matter out of underpants in the toilet (after getting very tired of just throwing them away following such an accident) I think I have decided I may not be cut out for cloth diapering after all. Don't judge me, great internet.
Oh, and I just stepped into a pile of slimy regurgitated weeds courtesy of the dog. Of course I did.