I am trying really hard here to keep my mind off the various maybe pregnant, maybe still hormonally screwed up, maybe pregnant and about to have another miscarriage scenarios. I have been keeping up on laundry like a fifties' housewife. I cleaned out the refrigerator. I made an art project with Addy (well, I MADE it and she decorated it with stickers.) I went to my niece's birthday party. I worked out for an hour, and then, when the endorphins from the exercise weren't quite doing the trick, I drove through a diner and bought two pieces of pie. One of which I ate with my bare hands while driving home, as Addy fretted vocally in the backseat about my lack of utensil and the fact that I was making A Mess! It helped a little. The second piece helped even more.
Today I am watching my nephews for a few hours this afternoon, and I think we'll all go to the park. Tomorrow Addy and her cousins are going to a Disney Music Program that the local symphony is putting on, complete with giant Disney princesses and the possibility of photo ops, so that should be fun, too. That will see me through to Monday.
I also took a pregnancy test this morning. Which was negative, and not surprising, given that it's the absolute earliest day I could have gotten a positive anyways and I've never been blessed with OVERABUNDANT hormones the likes of which produce positive pregnancy tests days before I'm even late. But it was still a big sigh, and it's still that ominous stick tucked in my bathroom drawer that I have to keep obsessively monitoring as though it is a newborn swaddled in its bassinet.
Which, you know, it kind of is.