Thursday, June 05, 2008

Reality Bites

I actually got to see Sex and The City last night, with a girlfriend, as my sister kindly agreed to babysit at the last minute. I haven't watched the show for awhile, so it was really fun to get all re-caught up in those crazy Manhattanites' lives. And there were some really wonderful moments, my favorite obviously being the scene in which Carrie runs into Charlotte's arms as Big pursues her, and Charlotte screams over Carrie's shoulder at him, "NO!" I mean, her eyes were SCARY angry. Gotta love that girl power.

On the other hand, there is a bit of a letdown, isn't there, when you return from the visual smorgasbord of penthouses and furs and sex-on-a-stick men to a house STILL infested with ants and a closet filled with clothes designed to disguise your muffin top and a night filled with fussing baby and a morning filled with whining for "More Nemo! More Nemo!" I mean, I felt for Miranda's pain at being betrayed, and my chest actually ached for Carrie when Big once again couldn't come through for her and all, but... I imagine the knife-like pain of those emotional wounds would be significantly dulled if one actually did have a live-in nanny or a personal assistant, or the expendable income to go on a frigging SHOPPING SPREE AT GUCCI in order to resist sleeping with the Mediterranean stallion next door. Just saying.

It also doesn't help my mood any that the period still will not come, nor that the heat and humidity have been steadily climbing all week. My ring won't come off my fat, water-retaining finger, and I am so bloated my belly looks as though I am about three months along. I can physically FEEL my hormones surging through my bloodstream with confused, pent-up aggression. This morning I had a near break down, trying to make pancakes and kill twenty-five bazillion ants and keep Eli from spitting banana chunks at Adelay, who was primly demanding more grapefruit juice, and then farting like a frat boy.

Also, one of my lampshades fricking FELL APART IN MY HAND this morning as I attempted to straighten it. Lord, beer me strength.

16 comments:

Motherhood for Dummies said...

oh man I am so sorry! Hope your day goes better :)

K in the Mirror said...

"primly demanding more grapefruit juice while farting like a frat boy" made me laugh out loud for about ten minutes. That so sums up life with a small girl.

Terro traps get rid of ants really well.

Jess said...

The weather SUCKS. And that makes SUCH a difference.

Here's hoping things improve soon.

Tessie said...

Funny, funny, funny.

Lord, beer me strength indeed.

It's weird about SATC, I have, like, NOTHING in common with any of the characters, so I really don't know why I liked the show so much.

SLynnRo said...

TESSIE- because it was AWESOME? People think too hard about that show, like it's a grand vehicle for feminism. I mean, I see their point, but it is so bad to also kind of enjoy the girly guilty pleasure aspect as well.

Enough hijacking.

I feel your pain about the letdown of leaving the movie. I wish I had something to do that I loved like Carrie or Samantha. Cuz I done done the lawyer thing, and I know Miranda ain't happy.

Pickles & Dimes said...

Adelay, who was primly demanding more grapefruit juice, and then farting like a frat boy...

Oh, my! That was the best line I've read today. Too funny.

Bird said...

Awesome.

Yeah, I know what you mean. . . when Carrie had to be fed. . . well, I thought that was a tad melodramatic. My life has had it's moments, but I always managed to feed myself. Of course, SJP is a whole lot skinnier than I am.

Oh, and the bit about Samantha's belly--WHAT BELLY? They need to come over here and see what what carrying a baby did to my already-not-that-great mid-section.

Erin said...

HAHA! Sorry about the lampshade. But hey, did you know you can buy JUST a lampshade? I only recently discovered this wonder of the modern world.

Also, I am totally WITH you on the obsessively peeing on the 80 cent prg test. I cannot stop suspecting. No period for me either, and baby is almost 11 months! ARG! WHERE IS IT?!

andi said...

I see your ants and raise you MICE. Gah!

beth said...

So, so true.

And ants are the worst. We seem to get them every year and they make my skin crawl.

At least you got to escpe for a couple of hours.

Marie Green said...

*Shielding my eyes*

Sorry, I skimmed this post b/c I haven't seen the movie yet.

I know, it totally not your fault- I'm the one that needs to get on the ball.

Also, re: ant problem- we have them too, and YUCK. My husband sprays something higly toxic around the outside of the house, and that seems to help. We're all dying of cancer, but we don't have ants!

CAQuincy said...

Never watched SATC. Just never really interested. Probably should so that I'm at least not culturally illiterate!

Also--sorry about the AF no show. MY clock-work period was FOUR DAYS EARLY this month and set me off into a horrible, dark, crampy week like none I've ever seen. WICKED! EVIL! Am truly thinking of getting that IUD if anything because my doc doesn't think I'll have periods while on it..... Anyway, I feel your pain--and your panic. And don't worry. If Swistle swears by those tests, they just GOTTA be good!

Swistle said...

Perhaps it is too soon for a positive? Or perhaps pancakes are a bad idea. Even in the best of moods, cooking pancakes makes me blow a gasket.

desperate housewife said...

Swistle: DO NOT say such things to me! "Perhaps it is just too soon for a positive" is the one phrase which has been striking fear into my otherwise giddily relieved heart! For me to THINK it is one thing, for people to actually VOICE THIS THOUGHT is another thing entirely.

Not that after about two seconds I wouldn't be giddily happy to be pregnant. I can go either way.

desperate housewife said...

Swistle: DO NOT say such things to me! "Perhaps it is just too soon for a positive" is the one phrase which has been striking fear into my otherwise giddily relieved heart! For me to THINK it is one thing, for people to actually VOICE THIS THOUGHT is another thing entirely.

Not that after about two seconds I wouldn't be giddily happy to be pregnant. I can go either way.

artemisia said...

I am trying to catch up, but I hope that things have improved since this post...

Also - I just saw SATC and that scene with Charlotte was my favorite part of the whole movie. Fierce devotion.