Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Adventures in Narcissism

I've been thinking that I want to have a different picture as my avatar, since it features Adelay with me and that sort of seems like favoritism (or perhaps as though I am using her as a distracting prop.) I decided I either need both of the kids with me or neither. I opted for neither, because the odds of ALL of us looking cute in one shot, particularly one I was attempting to take myself, were not encouraging. I have it narrowed down to three pictures, now, after taking probably eighty. I am not even kidding. It is both horrifying and addicting, doing self portraits. I've never actually tried it before.

I literally spent TWO HOURS, with minor childcare interruptions, trying from all angles to get a shot that downplayed my too-shiny (read: slightly greasy) hair, minimized my nose, emphasized my eyes, and didn't look like I was being forced to smile at gunpoint. I also discovered after several unfortunate shots that I most definitely have a good side and a bad side. Left side- strong side! Left side- strong side! (Big imaginary bonus points to whoever gets THAT reference.)

Also, peed on another eighty-cent stick this morning, because I just can't help myself, apparently. I'm like a moth to a flame. "Can't- stop- unwrapping- shiny- package. Must- watch- reassuring- single- line- appear- one- more- time..." In my defense though, it's a hell of a thing when reading a Mr. Roger's parenting book makes you literally choke back a sob because Oh! He was such a good, sweet man! If only every child in the world had someone so kind and understanding to look after them! It's enough to make you worry about the state of your hormones.

We're on day three here without Daddy. Adelay's been asking for him, but hasn't cried over it yet or anything major, so I'm hoping we're ok. My mom watched them for me on Monday night so I could get the lawn mowed (FIL came over to help me finish, as we have almost an acre to PUSH MOW,) then yesterday I hung out with my sister most of the afternoon and had dinner at my parents'. Tonight my friend is meeting me for dinner and then plans to spend the night with me, so I'm not too lonely or anything. And it's nice not to have to cook as much. But bedtime has been a little rough.

Also? I know that conferences can be boring and that the Orlando weather can be hot and unforgiving and that layovers are a be-otch and all, BUT: I don't think too much can trump the fact that in ONE DAY, I changed EIGHT poopy diapers, collected bits of torn up dirty diapers left on my bedroom floor by the DEMON EFFING DOG, and mopped up PEE out of the hallway where our daughter decided to just kind of pop a squat on her way from the bathtub to her bedroom. I WIN the worst day award.

18 comments:

Mimi said...

I swear, both of my kids go into ultra-poop mode whenever their Daddy is out of town for a few days. How nice.
Hang in there. I give you major credit for undertaking such a big lawn-mowing job!

Jess said...

Wait, where's the new picture? After all that hard work I was surprised to look to the sidebar and see the same picture of you with Adelay!

~d said...

Ughh.. the house showings. I feel ya.. been there done that... I have a worst.. house showing story...involves my bras and underwear ala dirty laundry.. strewn throughout the hallways; WITH an UNNANNOUNCED showing..

I love your blog.. I ran through some of it tonight. Found you on Texas.

I enjoy your honesty about life as a stay at home mom.. and mom in general.


Also.. long lost sister!

I have a "crack puppy".
Maybe Demon Dog.. would like to meet Crack Puppy and trade stories.

Bird said...

I hate the self-portrait thing--I ALWAYS look so bad! I guess I'm just vain.

Susiewearsthepants said...

Oh God! Someone else out in the wide world that still push mows the grass. I have about the same amount and it is freakin' hideous. I HATE mowing my yard. Sorry your day was so lousy.

Kelsey said...

I hate when Matt is gone out of town overnight. You should definitely win an award. Solo parenting is not all it's cracked up to be!

SLynnRo said...

I have a good side too, but unfortunately, I cannot remember which one. You would think it would be fairly easy. You would be wrong.

SLynnRo said...

I have a good side too, but unfortunately, I cannot remember which one. You would think it would be fairly easy. You would be wrong.

Emily said...

I would end up doing the exact same thing, which is probably why I have no avatar.

Saly said...

Um, so where are these so-called pictures???

twithhoney said...

Reading about your avitar woes makes my a little bit happier about my decision not to show my face on my blog. It's just too stressful trying to pick out pictures of my own mug.

Here's hoping today (Thursday) is better.

Tessie said...

That's why you just pick a picture that is horrifying in a FUNNY way, like the one on MY blog.

What is it with dogs and dirty diapers? Also, you would think that gel stuff would repel them, or at least stop them before they eat the ENTIRE thing. WRONG.

desperate housewife said...

Re: the pictures. I said I was still DECIDING between three of them, sillies! Therefore, no new picture yet. Also, I can't download pictures directly to my ancient laptop and Jim isn't here with his gorgeous work laptop, so I'll have to wait until he gets back anyways.

Also! In case anyone was wondering about the promised wedding photos, I'm still working on that. My mom emailed some to me but they're in a format I can't get my computer to accept, blah blah blah, still waiting to get a bunch of negatives and just have them put on a disc, which, probably should have done right AFTER THE WEDDING, but oh well.

Marie Green said...

Yes, yes, you do win. Though I don't think anything could really trump being a single parent, even if only for a few days.

Can't wait to see the new picture... You'll have to comment on my blog so I can see it, as I seem to be uable to figure out another way...

Astarte said...

You PUSH MOW an ACRE?! Holy crap!!!

I'm sorry, but conferences are like man-vacations. Anytime you don't have to pick up another creature's sh*t, stop an argument over who's touching whom, clean in a circle as someone follows behind you messing it up, or decode such dandies as 'the wall isn't broken but it kind of is', YOU'RE ON VACATION.

Swistle said...

Okay, obviously you have to SHOW US all three candidates and let us vote on a favorite. You can do a POLL!

Also: I laughed LITERALLY OUT LOUD, not just once but SEVERAL TIMES during this post. I am the same way about Mr. Rogers.

d e v a n said...

ooh i hatewhen D goes on a businesstrip and complains about anything. Good sleep and quiet meals and no diapers or tantrums? Nothing to complain about...

Mommy Daisy said...

I like the new photo you chose. It's very nice.

I think you should take a "business trip" when he gets back. ;)