Friday, June 13, 2008

Friday the Thirteenth- IT'S NO JOKE!

A series of unfortunate events, in chronological order, without much commentary from myself lest my head EXPLODE WITH RAGE.


-As of two days ago, BOTH of our vehicles are in separate garages being worked on for what may or may not be expensive problems. One of said vehicles was just repaired for an unrelated problem about three weeks ago. Goodyear is considering putting in a changing table and a toy corner just for me, I think.

-Regarding above item, one of the cars was parked overnight at Jim's office awaiting a tow truck to take it to a town about a half hour from here because, according to Goodyear, where the car was taken initially, "it's not a good idea to have anyone but an authorized Ford dealer work on Fords." Well, apparently leaving your car sit in a parking lot downtown for several consecutive nights isn't a good idea either, because this morning we got a call that our windows were smashed in and our stereo is gone.

-The house we wanted was officially closed on today. By people named NOT US.

-It rained this morning, and we abruptly lost power right in the middle of Eli's nap and Adelay's morning movie-while-Mommy-cleans time. Now, I was >mildly put out that I had to stop mid-vacuum, but Adelay was positively BESIDE HERSELF that her Princess and The Pauper DVD had disappeared from the screen. She raged and tantrumed and sobbed hot salty tears into the carpet for about ten minutes to make sure I was absolutely clear on her feelings regarding the situation.

When I finally explained that the TV was "broken" (what, any port in a storm, that's what I say, even if that port is called lying) she moved on to pitching a fit about the semi-darkness of the living room. "No lights off! I no like it!" she wept, flinging herself into various corners of the sofa and shrugging me violently off anytime I attempted to console her. Finally I just kind of backed off, mentioning, "Sweetie, I'm kind of done talking about the lights. They're broken too, and I'm sorry, but it's not my fault. We just have to wait." Meanwhile, the AC was off too, of course, and the room was turning into a sauna as the steamy air of the storm seeped in. It was dark and hot, and the dog was panting his wet, garbage-breath terror, and Addy was wiping snot trails on the back of her arm and... Well, I can think of more fun ways and more fun company in which to spend a power outage.

-The dog, once the storm was finally over, had to pee like a racehorse, so I let him out, and no sooner had I opened the door than he raced across the lawn and disappeared. Apparently he comforted himself during the storm by plotting his escape.

-Lunch left both the kids a little too gross for just a wet washcloth, so I popped Eli into the bath and talked to Addy while he played. Suddenly a horrified look crossed her face, and I glanced over to see that my freshly washed baby had just had some sort of BOWEL EXPLOSION in the bath water, and was now SPLASHING MERRILY in it. I have made it almost three years into parenthood without once encountering this level of feces-to-water ratio, and I don't even want to say anything more about that whole situation except this: If asked, I would have guessed that I am sort of person who would deal with a bath time poop by saying, "Oh well, the tub needed a good scrubbing anyways." Turns out... NOT SO MUCH.

-The dog finally reappeared, after hiding out in the mud under the deck during the second storm of the day. My hands were actually shaking with rage as I scrubbed him down in the garage. SHAKING, I tell you.

-My computer has been a spaz all day, and while attempting to work on an online newsletter I do on a (semi) regular basis for my family's restaurant, it kept refusing to publish and randomly shutting down the Internet. I now have two hand me down computers which both possess the delightful personality quirk of RANDOMLY ABORTING PROJECTS and refusing to just DO AS TOLD.

21 comments:

jess said...

A nice glass of wine and a bath in your sparkling clean tub is in order. You poor thing!

Pickles & Dimes said...

Oh good Lord. All of these are crappy things, but happening ALL AT ONCE = NO GOOD.

That really blows about your car(s). Ugh.

jen said...

oh that sucks about your cars!

I swear the dog always puts the icing on my bad day cake. I remember a particularly bad day towards the end of my pregnancy with D during which the power went out, so I had to walk L around the front of the house to let her in. I had the dog with me and was carrying a bag of crap and holding L's hand when the dog decided to roll in a pile of bear poo. And was running full speed towards the now-open front door. Um, NO.

BRash said...

My kid pooped in the tub once. He's 18 months old and loves baths and splashes merrily for so long, and always has. I'd gotten so comfortable with the bath routine I'd thought we were out of the woods regarding the bathtime pooping. But no. We returned from a long car trip, I thought he'd like a nice, watery stretch and play session in the bath. About five minutes in, I look into the bath water and think "What are those weird toys?" One disgusting minute later, I'd gotten my crap together (no pun intended!) and picked him up, deposited him in the seperate shower, chased the "toys" around the bathtup trying to wrangle them all up, and started cleaning up the mess. I went back to the shower to check up on the kid. Guess what? HE HAD POOPED IN THERE TOO! Ugh. Bad day.
Also, your insurance may cover your windows & stereo. Mine did.
Sorry about the crappy day.

Swistle said...

*tears of laughter/empathy*

d e v a n said...

I hate it when bad things happen to you, but you do tell the stories so well! I doubt that's any sort of consolation for you. I really hope the 14th is a better day!!!

Shelly Overlook said...

Shall I bring over a margarita and warm brownies?

Maggie said...

Oh no! I just want to make it clear that my laughter at the bowel to water ratio was in sympathy.

I hope that tomorrow is a better day!

Mimi said...

I am very sympathetic about your bad day, but I had to giggle about the dog's "garbage-breath terror." Too funny.

Anonymous said...

Little sis told me about the day, i knew there would be a blog. I am so sorry!!!!!!!! (I say as I merrily take my birth control pill!) If I were there I would watch the kids all day tomorrow and send you to the mall with some cash to blow. Love you sis!! Chin up!

Bird said...

NOt sure whether to laugh or cry. The poop thing would have gotten me too. I can deal with all the throw-up in the world, but poop is not my thing.

Mommy Daisy said...

Oh man, that is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day! I had to look at the calendar to verify that yesterday was indeed Friday the 13th. Guess I hadn't noticed. All of those things alone would be enough, then they all come at once. How have you kept it together this long?

Kelsey said...

Oh dear.

Just oh dear.

Anonymous said...

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rach

andi said...

I guess the fact that I didn't even realize it was Friday the 13th speaks to how non-craptastic my day was yesterday. I'm sorry yours sucked - I hope you got to drink your face off last night.

Rachel said...

Ok my blog is back-minus the too-much-info blogs about men. : )

Rachel

Susiewearsthepants said...

Sometimes when life hands you lemons, you just have to cut them in half and then squeeze them into your eyes. Hope things are better now!

Billie said...

There is nothing like someone else's blog to put your own life into perspective. I am so glad I have never had to deal with that before.

Billie

Tessie said...

"I'm kind of done talking about the lights".

Yep. That was definitely my favorite part. Hoo boy.

Jess said...

Okay, this stuff is really awful and I'd be a bald, twitching mess from all the hair-pulling I'd have done in that situation, but can I just say? This post was HILARIOUS. You are SO FUNNY.

Josie said...

Delurking to say, you've got me laughing out loud - the poop in the bath story is too much... (splashing merrily!!)
I'm waiting for the day this happens to me, don't know how I'll handle it!