I worry that the kids will kill themselves skateboarding, and I worry that they'll never try skateboarding because they'll be too worried. I worry that if I stop worrying then my children won't be safe — that my worry actually, magically keeps them safe — and then I worry that it's my very worrying that will pull danger towards us.
Catherine Newman ended her column this week by admitting the above. Few things I've ever read have rung truer in my brain than these sentences. It's such contradictory and frankly crazy thinking, but these two thoughts- I MUST worry! and also, alternately, My worry will jinx us and lead to tragedy!- are always somewhere in the back of my mind. Anyone else?
(I have a whole post about worry and kids, but Addy's waking up right now and I don't have time today. Later, I will obsess some more about it, I promise!)
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4 comments:
Oh, man, me too. Which will I do, in the end?--screw them up by letting them do dangerous stuff, or screw them up by over-protecting them?
I used to worry a LOT.
Now, I still worry some...but I try not to obsessively worry about things that I cannot change or control.
But...I used to be a freak and worry about things that were just weird to other people.
For example: Let's say I was going to take a shower. I would worry that I would slip in the shower. Or I would worry that someone would try to get into my house while I was in the shower, and then I wouldn't hear them, and so I needed to check the door locks & lock the bathroom door just in case, and make sure that the HOME phone was in the bathroom with me so that IF I had to call 911, and for some reason was UNABLE to SAY my address, they could just pull it up.
...see, I used to be a freak & worry about random sh*t.
...now, not so much.
I worry about every possible thing there is. I worry they will start huffing fumes and engage in head boxing, or hanging themselves to get high, or whatever other stupid teenage fad there is when they are older. That and lots more... I'd fill the comment box!
I know exactly what you mean. I think I'm getting a little better about worrying because I'm finally realizing that one day we'll be thankful for the good and bad - the good because it's good, the bad because it inches us (and our children) closer to God.
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