And Now For Something Completely New... A List!

1. It is starting to feel like we are never actually going to move; it's just this hypothetical idea swirling around, which we occasionally discuss. I go to the realtor's website sometimes and take the video tour of our house just to "visit" it and remember that it's still out there, waiting for us. (Hopefully waiting for us, and not whoring itself out to other families to be bought out from under us. *Sniff.*) Also, another house in our current neighborhood, just across the street, went up for sale a few weeks ago, and they are asking ten thousand less than we are. Not good for The Desperates. Not good at all. I took their video tour and I think ours is nicer inside, but who knows what other people will think? I am obviously biased. And unfortunately, lowering our price significantly is just not really an option.

2. Kindermusik is over, and I am not re-enrolling Addy. I think I might try tumbling at the Y or something a little more... Unstructured, I guess. I just felt like it was the adults who were more into it than the kids were. The toddlers just wanted to run around and play, and most of the time weren't really participating anyways. Which meant four kids racing around laughing while four adults pranced in a circle to ethnically enriching music, trying to coax the kids to join us. It wasn't BAD or anything; Addy liked the other kids and enjoyed playing with the instruments. I just feel it was maybe a little overrated and not worth the expense. I think she probably enjoys the FREE church nursery just as much if not more.

3. My sister-in-law hooked me up with the website for an orphanage in Guatemala which does basically what I was wanting to do here awhile ago. I am going to try to donate to them on a regular basis, and I encourage you guys to go check them out too! Also in relation to my desire to DO something for underprivileged kids, I am going to take the advise of one of the commenters and look into being a teacher's aid once a week at one of our city schools. Has anyone done this before, and want to weigh in? (Not that everyone attending city schools is underprivileged, necessarily; it just seems more likely, at least in OUR city school.)

4. I have watched Barbie as The Princess and The Pauper roughly fifteen times since Addy received it for Christmas. I have caught myself several times now singing the songs while working around the house. Singing them with feeling.

5. I think I am reaching a healthier place in terms of body image (crossing fingers fervently.) I realize that I am pretty out of shape and could stand to get more active, but I am coming to terms with the fact that no amount of weight loss and/or physical fitness will change the stretch marks all over my hips and abdomen, and that my skin will probably remain weird and almost scar-like on a portion of my lower belly. I have been quietly (and not so quietly) grieving over this ever since Eli was born, though I haven't posted much about it. I guess it seems both shallow and kind of obvious to complain about post-baby body, but it really does bother me a lot.
Anyways, last night as I was putting Eli to bed, I experienced yet another one of those in-love kind of pangs for him as I snuggled in his chubby baby sweetness. Then I went to put my own self to bed, and as I was changing into my pajamas, found myself staring with hatred at my stomach for the zillionth time. And it just seemed so stupid, suddenly. Weren't my babies worth those marks? They are battle scars! If anything, I should be proud of them! Why should I expect that my body come out of such a transformative and HARD experience as childbirth unaffected and unscarred? My body had to stretch to make room for my babies, and now I think it's time my mindset about physical beauty stretched, too, to make room for the beauty of motherhood.

You can all go barf now.