Thursday, January 31, 2008

Alternate Uses For Plastic Wrap

So! I finally caved and took Eli, Addy, and the Poo Diaper Baggie downtown. In the five degree weather. Only to be told that the liquid poo had been dissolved and compromised by the absorbent gel of the diaper, and that in order to collect a usable sample, I needed to PUT SERAN WRAP IN HIS DIAPER to catch the diarhea. "Just listen really closely," the helpful tech suggested, "and as soon as you hear him go, run in to change him and try to make a little bag out of the seran wrap, and hopefully you'll catch enough of the liquid in there to get a culture from it."
I'm pretty sure I said very little to the people at the lab as I bundled the children up to leave, so hard was I working to keep from screaming in frustration, both at the doctor, who TOLD me to bring in a diaper, and at the NONSENSE of it all, because I'm about ninety percent sure he doesn't even HAVE roto virus. But what if he does? Or what if he has some horrible virulent form of malaria or something?
So we went home, I cut a strip of plastic wrap and put it in the middle of his diaper, and we waited. Of course the little bugger didn't poop for like ten hours then, so it took til this morning to get a proper "sample" of the liquid poo, which of course flooded off the seran wrap and all over his clothes. But I'm pretty sure I caught enough to provide a legitimate sample!
On the bright side, I'm very happy I'm not a lab technician who has to test other people's feces!

12 comments:

Shelly Overlook said...

Ugh! The things we do for our kids that they will never, ever appreciate.

d e v a n said...

sheesh. Ditto what Shelly said.


Also, very glad not to be a lab tech.

Mimi said...

Oh my gosh. Better to be safe than sorry I guess!

jen said...

eep!

I had to do this for L but they never told me that. Just scrape it out of the diaper with the handy dandy little fork-that-screws-into-a-test-tube thingy.

Just think any aggravation you felt must have been gone when you gave them that skanky piece of cellophane he he

Swistle said...

That is the kind of experience that causes me to:

1) cry most of the way home
2) open up a bag of Reese's

That's quite a bright side, though.

Penny said...

Oh. ma. gah.

I'm so, so sorry you have to go through this both as a mother and the person who has to catch the poo. Also, please don't let that be contagious.

Hope your kiddo is okay.

Marie Green said...

This is what's so frustrating about the medical industry- you would THINK the doctor would KNOW that bringing in a poo diaper WOULDN'T work. BUT NO. THERE IS SO MUCH MISCOMMUNICATION between departments that is drives me crazy.

You have every right to be frustrated. I'M frustrated for you!

Mommy Daisy said...

Oh man, what a mess...literally. I hope that they accept that sample. Lord knows, you worked hard for it.

TheMusingMommy said...

Wow...

See, this is the kind of stuff nobody tells you about before you become a mother.

Tessie said...

Horrifying! I mean, couldn't they have allowed a CLOTH diaper or something? Plastic wrap? ACK!

twithhoney said...

I wonder if they have featured poo-testing lab technician on Dirty Jobs yet.

clueless but hopeful mama said...

Oh JEEZ. I thought taping a plastic bag to Zoe's privates to catch some pee for her UTI was bad. THIS was bad.

You deserve a GOLD medal in mothering for that one. If only from us!