1. I had horrible mommy guilt today because while I was busy (reading blogs!) Addy decided to jump up and down on the couch and she fell backwards onto her head before I could catch her. I did give my bad knee a nice wrench jumping up to try to catch her, though. And then I felt awful and was watching her all night for signs of concussion and decided never again to be on the computer while she is awake in the den with me. Clearly I cannot supervise properly AND catch up on blogs.
2. Prior to the mommy guilt episode, I had massive mommy frustration going on because Adelay seemed intent today on playing with/doing everything she isn't supposed to play with and or do (i.e., pulling heavy coasters out of the drawer and banging them on the coffee table, running around crazily with sharp pencils, clickety-clacking all over the computer keyboard, trying to do high dives off of the changing table, etc.) So I spent all day saying no and taking things away and trying to comfort tantrums and I felt like a big mean ogre.
3. It rained all day today. The depressed mood draped me like a familiar blanket. I did do some actual housework today, though, without too much fuss from the knee, so that made me happy for awhile. Then Adelay woke up from her nap, flung toys and Tupperware all over the freshly tidied house, and then fell off the couch headfirst. And then it was time to make dinner, and the stupid clothes in the dryer wouldn't get dry, and I realized that the skin on my face will not stop being dry and flaky no matter how much I moisturize it, and my hair is greasy again, and I have pores on my nose the size of craters, and POOF! Fleeting good mood is dissolved.
4. Silver lining: After dinner, I told Jim I needed some alone time. He stayed and cleaned up dinner and put Addy to bed and I went to the coffeehouse and got a chai latte, then went to Toys 'R' Us to pick up a baby shower gift for this weekend (does anyone else feel like gift buying is never-ending?) But it was nice to be in the quiet by myself for awhile, and to stroll around and look at all the cute boy baby stuff at my leisure. I even found a cute wall hanging on a really good clearance for the boy's (Beckett's?) nursery soon to be created. So that was all very nice. Thanks, hon.
5. Also, yesterday Addy randomly climbed up on the bed next to me while I was resting my knee, took my face carefully between her hands, and kissed me, smiled, kissed me again, smiled, kissed me AGAIN, then laughed hysterically and patted my face. And it made me very, very happy. Because, a, clearly she loves me in her own little way, and b, I must be modeling some affectionate behavior for her to know how to do that, right? I must be doing okay.