Saturday, April 14, 2007

Mental Vacation

I am going to pretend that it is not snowing outside like a friggin' winter wonderland. I am going to pretend that Adelay does not have roto virus and that our house does not currently smell like a poorly cleaned nursing home thanks to the frequent diaper changes. I am going to pretend that I HAVE showered and brushed my hair today, and that there is lipstick and blush on my face. I am going to pretend that Jim and I are doing something more exciting than sitting around in sweatpants watching Kingpin for the zillionth time and eating our usual weekend gourmet- two pizzas. I am going to also pretend that I did something fun last night, rather than what I actually did, which was to sit by myself in the den crying over a Holocaust documentary and thinking morose thoughts about whose attic I could hide my children in, if white middle class Protestants were to become victims of mass genocide. Cheerful, lighthearted weekend thoughts.
So... Instead, I am mentally checked out of the Midwest. I am wearing a bathing suit- heck, let's make it a bikini. I am boldly baring my round midriff, getting tan and sipping a virgin daiquiri with a paper umbrella in it. I am lying on the deck of a pool, and the sun is glistening off the water. I have to wear sunglasses just to see the pages of my novel. I can feel myself getting really nice color after just an hour or so. My skin feels warm and toasty to the touch.
Later, after I'm too hot to sit by the pool anymore, I will return to the hotel suite and leisurely prepare for dinner. I will wear my cute sundress (with the empire waistline) and white sandals, and then I will meet Jim downstairs in the hotel restaurant, where we will sip wine (okay, maybe not me) and watch the sunset from the window of our private dining room. We'll eat lobster and Caesar salad and something decadent for dessert... Something with lemon and cream.
Adelay will be safely at home with a relative, and without roto virus. So Jim and I will stay out as late as we want. Maybe we'll stroll hand in hand down the beach after dinner, admiring the stars on the water.
Or maybe we'll finish watching Kingpin and pour Addy another cup of Pedialyte.


Shauna said...

I hope it helps you to know that we've all had days like these. Take care.

Enjoy the mai tai as you sit in your bikini in paradise!

Anonymous said...

Who said motherhood wasn't glamorous?

Swistle said...

This: "thinking morose thoughts about whose attic I could hide my children in, if white middle class Protestants were to become victims of mass genocide"--made me nearly snort a chocolate bunny out my nose.

Suburban Oblivion said...

Hey, I wanna go on that vacation with you! There are hot cabana boys right??

Jennifer said...

Great fantasy.

Sorry for the rough weekend.

Jim said...

Sounds great! May I replace sipping wine with chugging beer?

Kelli in the Mirror said...

If you're watching Kingpin, Jim, you definitely need to be chugging the beer. :)

I want to come on this vacation too!