Hello, all. Everything's fine over here, though we had yet another scare and it was back to the doctor yesterday! I started bleeding again about four days ago (on top of the unrelenting nausea) and at first I hesitated to rush back to the doctor, since she had said some spotting was probably inevitable given the bleed near my cervix. Yesterday it got a lot worse though, so I finally called and went in for an ultrasound, and boy am I glad I did.
You remember that second sac they saw on my last ultrasound? Now they're saying it was never a second sac at all, but a pooling of blood from a subchorionic hematoma. It unfortunately has gotten a lot bigger since the last ultrasound. You can see a jagged, clotted edge where it's trying to heal itself, but it's just not doing a very good job, most likely because of the baby aspirin I'm on for my clotting disorder. Baby is still fine, thank goodness, measuring exactly right and with a heartbeat of one sixty two this week, which is great. But the bleeding is such that now the doctor is worried it might leak behind the sac where the baby is still implanting in the uterus and cause problems, so they want me to stop the aspirin immediately to try to get it to heal up and stop spreading.
It's weird- if a hematoma is diagnosed later in a pregnancy they sometimes recommend aspirin to try to bleed the clot right out of your uterus, but this early in pregnancy there's a danger that if the whole clot comes out it will trigger a miscarriage, so they try to avoid that scenario, obviously. Ugh. It's just one of those frustrating wait and see situations, and I certainly don't enjoy having the odds of miscarriage raised even more. All I can do is try to take it easy, and go in for weekly ultrasounds to monitor the progress/deterioration of the stupid thing.
I swear, it seems I can never get through a pregnancy without some complication or another. Maybe at least I'll get them all over with at the beginning this time, and by the end it'll be smooth sailing, no sign of heartburn or stretch marks or incontinence or constant false labor or bedrest... Nothing but a serene pregnant lady who still has a visible jawline and normal looking ankles, rubbing her belly and glowing and blissfully folding onesies, just like in the magazines at my doctor's office. Bwah ha ha ha.
Well. Sarcastic laughter aside, I am still delighted that as of today, I am seven weeks, five days pregnant, and without progesterone supplements or Clomid or trigger shots or anything! Just a spontaneous weekend getaway, a wing and a prayer, and our optimism, which seems to spring eternal (perhaps even irrational.) And I still believe everything's going to be okay this time. I may end up on bedrest much sooner if the bleed gets bigger or won't go away, but hey, that was pretty much inevitable anyways, right?
I may seem weirdly cheerful today, I know, but it's all thanks to a prescription of Zofran which I finally got up the courage to ask for yesterday. I had held off on asking for it even though I've been thinking of it for weeks now, since I'm not really actively barfing all day. Instead, I just feel constantly seasick and spend a lot of time either fighting off the desire to throw up or trying unsuccessfully to throw up, thinking even that might feel better than my current misery. The effort of fighting the sick feeling has been leaving me constantly shaky and fatigued and wrung out feeling, with only brief respites here and there when I would eat some magical, impossible-to-replicate combination of foods which seemed to stave off the sick for a few hours. I was getting nothing done around the house, doing nothing fun with the kids, and cooking nothing more ambitious than cold cheese sandwiches or soup, though even the smell of something warming on the stove sent me running.
So. I asked for the Zofran, and it was procured, and then the clouds parted and the angels sang and I wondered why on earth I waited to ask for it for even a single day. True, it leaves me a little tired and dazed feeling, and it hasn't magically eliminated ALL the nausea, but it is very manageable seeming today, and I even gave the kids baths and cleaned the bathroom and took us to the library and then made some lunch without retching and then managed to get on the computer without having the light from the computer screen send me gagging (yes, that's why I've been MIA lately, no kidding.) These are all things I would have had trouble with heretofore, so I'm pretty darn happy. Now I just need to get this pesky little subchorionic bleed under control and I'll be the perfectly happy pregnant woman.