I got tagged by Michelle and Hilary to roar about myself, inspired by Clueless But Hopeful's original roaring post. But dude, I cannot summon up any roaring power today. I feel weak and tired and like a kind of lousy mom today, so... We'll table that for a while! Instead I will complain.
This pregnancy so far, like Eli's, is leaving me both queasy and ravenously hungry, which is a sucky combination. I end up eating all morning long to squelch the hungry nausea, but then if I eat the wrong thing I get the Nausea nausea, so then I have to eat something that's Right to try to fix it. Right being salty. I am all about the salty right now. I ate buttered toast for breakfast (which was yuck) then had a frozen burrito for a SNACK, and am now eating a big pile of tater tots because I am still hungry/shaky/nauseous.
All of this food foraging and rejecting is taking up a big chunk of morning time, so I feel like I get nothing done until about noon, especially since I've given up my morning drug, er, coffee ('cause now it's also YUCK.) And then I'm ready for a nice nap by about two, so you can imagine all the fun and enriching activities the kids and I are doing.
Also, WATER is making me nauseous, but I'm really thirsty all the time (see: massive salt consumption.) So I guess I need some Gatorade or something?
I'm finding myself very displeased with my belly this time around. With Addy my stomach was pretty flat to start with, so all that poked out was, you know, BABY belly, around twelve weeks. With Eli I had a tiny little pouch leftover from Addy's pregnancy, so there was a bit of chub that started popping out before the actual uterus bump began to appear. THIS time, I have a fairly significant, stretch-marked fat pocket right over my uterus from Eli's pregnancy, when I gained (blergh blergh mumble) pounds. So all that early pregnancy bloat is just making this fat pouch pop RIGHT out, a nice big gut, and nothing at all approaching the cute baby bump I remember from my first pregnancy. There's nothing sweet about lovingly stroking what appears to be an inner tube of fat. Humph.
Jim's soccer team won their first game last night, and I was really excited, but then I just randomly started crying about stupid stuff that I couldn't even explain. We were talking and I kept sniffling but trying to keep The Crying at bay, and then I was all, "Oh crap, I think I have to CRY!" Kind of like when you warn someone you have to puke. Step back, folks, it's going to be a gusher.
All this and I still feel pretty uneasy that I'm "really" pregnant. Sure, my progesterone went up, but... the hcg hadn't doubled, and the progesterone is still technically low, just not quite as worryingly low as before. I'm just not going to feel safe that this is real until I see a heartbeat next Tuesday. So until then, I'll just feel kind of fat and sick and grumpy I guess!