Friday, April 03, 2009

In A Less Sentimental Vein

To Do:

-Turn back on son, allowing him to stand up on the storage ottoman, fall backwards onto his head with a terrifying THWACK! and then turn pale from screaming so hard.

-Call husband, hospital and best friend whose own son has a penchant for hitting his head. Be comforted by the nurse on the phone that, "Brain injuries often take several days to show up. It's great that he seems fine now, but you know, Natasha Richardson seemed fine for a few days, too..."

-Give up plans to go to the gym in favor of hovering over injured child watching for signs of head trauma such as slurred speech, staggering, and unusual behavior (you know, as opposed to your average year and a half old behavior, which is entirely reliable and never involves slurring or staggering.)

-While paying careful attention to son, neglect older daughter. Find her fifteen minutes later playing gleefully on bed, surrounded by piles of lingerie dug from your bedside table drawer.

-Stand outside on deck for ten minutes in the wind and cold while dog pretends to need a bowel movement when in fact he is merely looking for an escape. Finally drag him in after two failed attempts to dart through the neighbor's yard, only to realize that your daughter was having her own bathroom break alone while you were outside, and now has to be taken back to the bathroom for a more thorough clean up job.

-Emerge from the bathroom to see that son has thrown his lunch all over the floor, including about fifty eight peas. Try and fail to coax dog that he should be a normal frickin dog and clean up the food mess for you.

-Painstakingly pick up the peas on your hands and knees while children stand around watching you intently.

-Stand up to find that dog has eaten daughter's sandwich and tater tots right off her plate while you were on the floor with the peas.

-Give up on your day entirely and allow Steve and Blue to entertain your children while you whine online.

13 comments:

Scottish Twins said...

You poor poor thing. You deserve some chocolate and a drink!!

Jess said...

Oh MAN.

BTW, I think Natasha Richardson seemed fine for a couple of HOURS, not days.

Melio said...

This post makes me feel less lonely. Guess we all have those days.

Swistle said...

AH HA HA HA HA HA!

Also, Edward fell and hit his head HARD the other day---right before bedtime. So there I was looking through the books that said to be worried if the child went to sleep or was difficult to wake---but Edward is a VERY GOOD SLEEPER who is always saying he's tired half an hour before bedtime SO AHHHHHHHGGGGGGHHHHH!!!

Swistle said...

(He's fine.)

CAQuincy said...

Time to bring out the GOOD chocolate. How much good chocolate can you cram in while Steve and Blue are finding those clues?

Hope your day gets better!

clueless but hopeful mama said...

OH WOW. That Natasha Richardson comment would have sent me completely and totally over the edge.

I second the chocolate idea.

The weekend! The weekend is almost here!

Kelsey said...

Ah let's just make them wear helmets all the time, no?

It is a little easier when they get older and can tell you about their symptoms, or lack thereof.

The emptying of the night stand drawer made me laugh and I'm glad our dog is not the only one brazen enough to steal food right off of our plates while we're right there. Who do they think they are?

(I'm sorry you had a bad day.)

d e v a n said...

Ugh - that sounds awful! Kids!!

Erin said...

That sounds like a terrible sequence of events.

I HATE the worry that comes with NOT KNOWING if they're okay? Not okay? Just tired? About to hemmorrage?

Mommy Daisy said...

Whining online...yep, that sounds like a good idea. Cheap therapy too!

I'm glad Eli is OK.

Bird said...

I think you did the right thing.

Also, mine can't even walk, but manages some spectacular falling events.

Astarte said...

Oh, sweet Jeebus! What a crappy day!!!!! That's definitely a Steve-n-Blue day.