Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Cheery

It's ten thirty, and I am already having the kind of day in which it feels like everyone and everything are working together in some master plan to grind on my last nerve. I am trying to eat breakfast and Addy is standing at my side, hopping up and down while hanging on my sleeve. "Mom, I wanna play princess. Mom, I wanna play princess. Mom, you get my princess stuff? You get my princess?" "As soon as I'm done eating, honey," I tell her. But it takes me about twenty minutes to eat, because I have to stop after every bite to speak with Adelay regarding THE PRINCESS STUFF OMG I NEED THE PRINCESS STUFF RIGHT NOW!

Then it's the dog, stepping on my feet with his giant wet paws when he comes in from the soggy backyard. Then it's the hematologist I've been referred to, saying he isn't accepting any new blood disorder patients. Then it's the sight of all the CRAP in this house that needs purging and organizing and I just don't feel like it, even though this is the appropriate time of year and all. Addy's stuff in particular has gotten out of control; I think the chap sticks and hair barrettes and tiny doll shoes get together and have wild orgies in the night, then reproduce all manner of girly hybrids of themselves each morning.

Also, it's just a lot of Addy personality clashing with Mommy personality this morning. Sometimes we really rub each other the wrong way, and I hate it, but once the cycle has begun it is VERY hard to halt. I am feeling restless and tired and kind of cranky, due in no small part to the second day of dreary rain in a row and the fact that Eli was up screaming twice last night. But Addy is feeling perky and wide awake and also slightly manic this morning, so it's a bad mix.

She wants oatmeal! No, she wants waffles! She wants to watch Strawberry Shortcake. She wants to play princess! Wait, no, she wants to play with the new play-dough. But hey, what are you doing?! Stop making things with the play-dough! I just want to look at the beautiful new molds fresh from their containers! Aaah, you're ruining my life! I can't play with these any more ever! Now let's play Memory. What, you want to do something by yourself for a minute? Play Memory! Play Memory! Play Memory! PLEASE Mommy, PLEASE Mommy, PLEASE! No, not in a minute, now! Please, I LOVE you! I LOVE you, Mommy, PLEASE!!!

Now we're playing Memory. But wait, she wants to make this game last as long as humanly possible by taking about five minutes for every turn, staring ponderously at the cards as though the weight of the world rests on her decision. The more antsy I'm getting, the more she drags it out, tapping her chin and murmuring, "Hmm hmm hmm. Which one do I want?" Meanwhile, Fonzie stands directly over my shoulder as he slowly, endlessly licks his lips, producing the kind of noise that makes me want to put an ice pick through his head or mine.

Now Addy has to pee. But the giant Cinderella dress and unrelated fairy wings make it impossible to do so. EPIC MELTDOWN OMG WILL DIE HERE IN THE BATHROOM IN A TRAGIC PUDDLE IF YOU DON'T HELP ME RIGHT THIS SECOND!! I help her take the dress off and then its MY DRESS! GIVE ME BACK MY PRINCESS DRESS! HALP ME SOMEONE MY DRESS HAS BEEN STOLEN!

Thank God there's still Easter candy in the house, is all I'm saying.

15 comments:

Hillary said...

If peanut butter eggs and chocolate rabbits don't do the trick, I'd move onto the hard stuff -- ice cream.

Mimi said...

OMG... my dog does the same licky-thing and it drives me completely insane. Like totally bonkers. I hope your day gets better.

Jess said...

Oh my. "I LOVE you, PLEASE" is just cruel! She's already learning how to manipulate.

Swistle said...

HA HA HA HA HA! All I can say is, I'm out this evening to buy more Easter candy if I can find any.

Astarte said...

Oh, sweet Jesus!!!! I don't miss that phase AT ALL!!!!!!! But, I'm sorry to say, it's really funny when I watch YOU do it. Hahahahaha!!!

I know, I'm a bitch.

Mommy Daisy said...

We're having that kind of week here too. Well, you saw how it was Sunday. Ha! Grandma detox, too much Easter candy, busy weekend, and now rain rain rain. It's just a recipe for disaster. AND I started my period first thing yesterday morning. Ugh. But like you, the first thing I thought was thank goodness there is Easter candy in the house for ME!

You're not alone.

CAQuincy said...

OMG. My youngest and your oldest must have been separated at birth! That was totally my kid last night--and on Sunday. FUNNY! Hope you manage to find a moment alone SOON. (I keep Dove chocolate hidden in the freezer for when I suddenly run out of Easter/X-mas/Halloween candy.)

d e v a n said...

Aw, you captured it so well!

Shannon said...

Darsie and I have a VERY SIMILAR relationship. She goes to preschool in about 30 minutes and I'm taking a nap and plugging Elise into the tv.

Hopefully the day improves for you and me.

Scottish Twins said...

Posts like these make me happy to only have boys so far.

I hope your day gets better soon!!

Kelsey said...

Harper and I have LOTS of days like that, though I have to say once she turned about three-and-a-half the percentage of that type of day plummeted dramatically. Thank the Lord!

Feeling for you. . .

mLou said...

According to Addy's Lilypie calendar...she should be changing any day now....3-6mo-1wk.!!

clueless but hopeful mama said...

Oh, I'm so sorry for your crappy day but so happy you can write so well to entertain us all and let us know we are not alone!

Bird said...

clueless but hopeful said it better than I ever could!

Billie said...

I keep hoping that the phase where the kids can't do anything without me will fade so I can actually accomplish something rather than being their minion 24x7.

The 4yo is actually better able to amuse herself than the almost 7yo.