Wednesday, September 26, 2007

As Regards Swistle's Mother In Law

This is really just getting silly. This woman is INSANE. Bat-shit crazy, even. Secrets as power! Refusing to reveal DATES of cross-country, weeks-long visits. Nonchalantly dumping the responsibility of hotel finding onto other people, DAYS before intended visit. And that's not even going into the anticipated behavior during the actual visit. What is this?
Here's what I propose: Everyone is to observe an official Think of Swistle moment of silence each day for the duration of the hostile takeover of the Swistle home, aka MIL's visit. Here's what I will be thinking: "Zoloft and Dove chocolate. Zoloft and Dove chocolate." There is no shame in it!


Also, in case you needed some proof of what a rock star of a mom I am, I offer to you Exhibit A- Adelay now chirps, in a voice fueled by hope and desire, "Fries?! Fries?!" every time we drive down the fast-food joint lined road near our house. Guess it's time to start cooking again.
And here's Exhibit B- frequently, within the last few weeks, I have heard Addy say to me or Eli or even the dog, "Jus'a minute! Jus'a minute!" in a reassuring but slightly frantic tone which rings all too familiar in my ears. These are not my proudest moments.


Jess said...

This is a BRILLIANT idea. If we all do it, it will totally help. Also, if your kids repeats after you and the worst things she says are "Fries?!" and "Jus'a minute," it sounds to me like you're doing pretty well.

Anonymous said...

*snort* Fries! I love it!

Swistle said...

Can I just say "ditto" to Jess's comment? That's exactly what I want to say to both topics.

Marie Green said...

Don't our children humble us when they repeat back to us what we've been saying, with perfect intonation? It's embarrasing!

Dove and Zoloft. Got it. Count me in!

Mommy Daisy said...

Such a good idea to help Swistle out. Also, that's why I'm ok with my son not talking yet. I don't have to hear the things I say back. Somehow I'm not entirely looking forward to that.

Kelli in the Mirror said...

I think Gillian was just about Addy's age when we would drive by Chickfila and she would shake her head and very sorrowfully say, "no get chicken sundays..."
And also dammit. She got that one from me.

I just came from Swistle, as it happens, since you're both S in the bloglines, and I think you're absolutely right. I'll be eating some Hershey kiss truffles in her honor. Every day.

Black Sheeped said...

Aw, Swistle! I know!

Also, fries ARE delicious and addictive. You can't blame her for trying.

ttsc said...

don't worry, you'll have lots more better moments, you just had a baby! everyone needs a little fast food dinners after having a baby.

Devan said...

Aw, I feel for Swistle too. Her MIL is just beyond words!
MOS is definitely a good idea!

Also, Fries? LOL That is too funny.
Every time we drive by Sonic, d says "slushy!" so you're not alone.

bananafana said...

I think swistle's situation may require hours of silence but I'm willing to do whatever it takes.
Our son yells at the dog "NOAH STOP IT" so I'd take the jus'a minute over that.
fries . . . too bad McDonald's isn't making them this early. man I'm hungry

Anonymous said...

Fries = Potatoes = Vegetable

That's not a bad thing, is it????

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

I think you're doing a fabulous job. It's only been a few weeks. I swear!!!! that it gets easier.

And Swistle's MIL is such a wacko! I wish I could help her more than just a moment of silence!