Saturday, February 05, 2011

Day 9: Pet Peeves, Or, Ferber And Kevin Bacon

So today's topic is pet peeves. But first I must note, from the previous comment section, that it seems all of you are the normal type who focus on things like putting the heaps of toys where they belong rather than shoving them out of your way with your foot so you can vacuum yet again. I still hold out hope that one day I too will be more able to focus on the big picture rather than the details. I am getting better, though, and by better I mean, more practical re: a household with three small children. I do try to focus first on the kitchen and bathroom, as those rooms are always the first to deteriorate into frat house conditions, even if what I'm really in the mood to do is get out the furniture polish. (Um, that sounded a little weird. I promise I'm not running around in a tiny maid's costume with a feather duster and a suggestive smile.)

Ok, well this post derailed pretty quickly! Back on topic! Day 9 is pet peeves, so, ok, obviously one of my pet peeves is not being able to clean due to lack of time and/or energy. But here are two other biggies:

-People who are Nazis about trying to sleep train tiny babies or put newborns on a strict feeding schedule. Now before you break your scrolling finger rushing to the comments to tell me how babies NEED schedules and your children THRIVED on the Ferber method or whatevs, let me say that I don't mean you! I'm thinking of like two specific people that I've met in my whole life. In general I think most children DO feel better with some kind of a routine. I just think, especially if you're breastfeeding, that trying to put your newborn on some kind of feeding schedule based on your OWN needs (here's where the few specific people come to mind) is both selfish and unhealthy for the baby.

I could go on and on, but half of you already agree with me and the other half can refer to any pediatrician or lactation consultant for info on the needs of breastfeeding infants and when and how it is appropriate to attempt to implement some kind of feeding or sleeping schedule. And I'm sure you HAVE. AGAIN, I am not talking about you. I'm just talking about people who get their hands on some random, over the top book that appeals to a certain kind of controlling personality, and then kind of run wild with it, taking it as the absolute GOSPEL of child rearing and ignoring their own instincts and common sense. Some of the best advise I ever got was to parent by the baby, not by the book. And, I think most people DO, whether they know it or not. You can agree with certain schools of thought, but ultimately you're using your own head and you're learning from your child what their needs are, not from some book.

Sorry, I know I'm on a soapbox here and probably annoying about half of you. It's just something I've encountered recently and I nearly BIT MY TONGUE OFF trying not to lecture. So... you get to hear it instead, apparently. My apologies.

-Pet peeve the second: Kevin Bacon. Yep. That's probably even more controversial than the first topic, but there you have it. He creeps me out. You're free to disagree of course. But you can't win me over on this one. I've tried, I really have. I've seen Footloose. I even LIKE Footloose... I just don't like Kevin Bacon.

14 comments:

Swistle said...

I agree with you on the baby thing, and also I think you put that very well.

One thing that bothers me is that those few people who are like that, if I'm NOT doing it their way and have ANY baby problem, they're like "If you're not doing it our way, then *shrug*."

Mrs. Irritation said...

I can't figure out people who want to "train" a newborn. & I mean very young, weeks old babies. They're tiny babies. They need to eat when they need to eat. They sleep when they need to sleep. They aren't trying to be manipulative or "trick" you or make you spoil them, they are acting out of an essential human need.

Sarah said...

Swistle and Mrs. Irritation: EXACTLY! Esp. on the thing about people talking about babies being "manipulative." I mean, I guess in the essential meaning of trying to get you to do what they want, then yes. But that's why nature LET babies be able to cry and MADE it so annoying to hear: so that adults would be forced to figure out and meet the needs of small babies even if doesn't make sense to the adults that they could need to eat again or whatever. It's for the sake of survival of the species!

Katy said...

Kevin Bacon is kind of creepy. I don't think I've ever seen him act in anything ever--of course, I don't see a whole lot of movies, so that's not saying much.

Devan said...

Kevin Bacon is hideous. End of story.


I agree with the first thing too. ;)

ttsc said...

Okay, I see I'm the only one saying this here. But I've met Kevin Bacon and he is suprisingly hot and really cool in person. I never really liked him, or gave him much thought. But in person, really hot.

Kelsey said...

I'm sort of meh about Kevin
Bacon. I am not opposed to him, but have never coveted him either. Although I have to say, the Kevin Bacon episode of Will and Grace was one of the funniest for sure.

As for the baby stuff - I'm really a "to each his own" type of person about a lot of child-rearing topics. Our experience was so different with each of our kids because of the extreme nature of Michael's early birth and infancy that I know FOR SURE there's more than one way to do it.

Michelle said...

I have the same reaction to Nicholas Cage.

I agree with on the baby. It is wearing me out right now but I agree.

Saly said...

Yes! YES! Very well said, Sarah. There is this one girl on Facebook who constantly drones on about her baby sleeping thru the night from the time she was 2 weeks and it's because they were so firm with her? Um what? You disciplined a 2-week-old? How? What?

Stuff like that makes me crazy. But, I still get up 1-2 times per night with my 2-yo, so..

LearningByReading said...

Have u ever considered writing professionally. You know people like Letterman and Leno pay big bucks for comedy writers. Dont waste away your comedic talent on this blog. Thanks

bluedaisy said...

I feel the same as Kelsey about Kevin Bacon (including that Will & Grace episode).

Agree 100% on following the baby- especially newborns! As one example, in the area of feeding- even bottle feeding- I always allowed the schedule to emerge first based on the baby. Because any time you go to tweak it, they go through a growth spurt or cut a tooth and then you start all over again. I just rode the wave and it all worked out over time. Not easy on the parents but we're still here so that's something ;)

Sarah said...

bluedaisy- I totally agree about just observing and going with the schedule that emerges naturally! I think maybe people get scared that if THEY don't enforce some kind of schedule the babies will just eat every hour or something? But that doesn't happen unless there's a sudden growth spurt going on, or, like you said, illness or teething or whatever. In which case I personally have no problem with nursing for comfort. But yeah, as you said, a baby will eventually put ITSELF on a general schedule if you just watch and pick up on it. I just think some people are kind of controlling and need to feel like they, as the parents, are the ones "in charge" of the schedule or something.

CAQuincy said...

Oh! You are so right on this one! Well, except Kevin Bacon. I mean, not that I think he's all that, but you know, he's...OK.

Mommy Daisy said...

I hear you about the parenting infants thing. It's not so much about the method, it's just irritating that people think they know THE ONLY RIGHT WAY to do things really. I found that a "routine" not "schedule" helped. But the thing about routine's is they are very flexible. And they are custom-made for each individual baby/child.