Monday, February 08, 2010

Isn't It Ironic

So the problem with seeing multiple doctors is that there's a lot of conflicting and complicated advise. One doctor believes that my best chance at carrying this baby is to reduce stress as much as possible so that my hormones can function properly. I am to JUST STAY CALM above all else- and take all sorts of supplements to help with this calmness and mental health (Omega-3 oil, Cyrofood, Calcium Lactate and Cataplex D, all from the Standard Process line.) On the other hand, the OB wants me to call the second I get a positive test, get blood draws every forty eight hours, and have a viability ultrasound around six weeks. I haven't actually DONE any of those things yet. I haven't even told my OB I'm pregnant, in fact.

My supplements came today in the mail, and after some internet research to make sure they're ok, I think I'm going to take all of them except the Stress-Ez (Deseret Biologicals) which contains gingko biloba and is advised against during pregnancy. The fact that the doctor went ahead and sent it to me even AFTER being told about the pregnancy makes me trust his advise less about other supplements, however, so I still feel a little iffy about taking any of it until I talk to my OB and make sure it's ok during pregnancy.

That, however, would require TELLING her that yes, I'm pregnant, but that I don't care to do all the blood draws and super-early ultrasounds this time. This time the name of the game is wait and see. I'm sure she'll at least understand that decision, since we've gone the early intervention route numerous times without success. Surely she'll get it, that this time I just want to curl up around my belly and hibernate for a few weeks in blissful ignorance before doing all that official pregnancy stuff, right? I just want to give my body the chance to either accept or reject this baby on its own, without manipulating hormones and delaying/making worse the inevitable if it's not a healthy pregnancy. None of that has done any good in the past anyways.

BUT. I'm an Authority Pleaser, so I really don't like consulting with doctors without doing exactly what they're telling me, or even what I think they WANT me to do, even if they don't say it outright. My instinct is to be a model patient, but what I've become is a consumer, picking and choosing which advise and treatment I think is applicable and appropriate for my situation. I'm fine with this, mentally. But actually explaining my position out loud, especially over the phone, is daunting.

Ah well. Time to suck it up. How ironic, though, that the supplements which were supposed to REDUCE mental tension and anxiety are now CAUSING it. We all know how much I love me some irony!

13 comments:

Michelle said...

Congratulations!!!

I don't know if this is any help, but everything I've read - and it's A. Lot. after YEARS of infertility and - says you need to start the intervention stuff this cycle, but before the pregnancy - that would include supplements. So. Tell your OB and take hold of your medical care. You pay her, not the other way around. If you don't want the blood draws then skip them. If you don't want an early ultrasound then skip it. There isn't anything anyone can do at this point but to wish you continued health and pray for a joyous outcome.

And on that note I wish you continued health and a joyous outcome this pregnancy!!

Hillary said...

you absolutely should take the time to just let your body figure it out, if that's what you want. doctors are trying to take care of you, but they also are running a business. Acting like a consumer is no more wrong than the doctor acting like a businessman.

SOOOO happy for you.

Shelly Overlook said...

I firmly believe you should trust your instincts and do what is best for you. Though how you live a "stress-free life" with 2 kids is beyond me. If you figure that one out, you will be rich! :)

Shelly said...

I think that if you want to curl up in a little ball around your belly this time, then you should be allowed to. I fully understand that instinct.

Jess said...

Oh, so frustrating! But I think it's great that you have a clear idea of what you want and need. Your doctor should bloody well listen to you. Good luck!

Lisa said...

Having kids has given me a backbone...I'm no longer an authority-pleaser, especially when it comes to doctors and pregnancy. I've become a consumer too :-) Do what you think is best.

d e v a n said...

You just do what you feel is best! Congrats again!!!

Swistle said...

I am thinking about you ALL THE TIME. ...Not in a creepy, weird, obsessive way, just in a "!!!!" way.

I totally get the not wanting to come out and say it. What I'd do is just not call for awhile, and then explain AFTERWARD why I didn't call for awhile: "I didn't want to do all the blood draws and things"---rather than calling and explaining beforehand. The OB never wants to see me until 10 weeks, so that's probably how long I'd wait. But then if I changed my mind mid-10-weeks, I'd call then. The "10 weeks" would be more of a "I don't have to do anything NOW" marker.

Nowheymama said...

I agree with everyone else: go with your gut. Whatever makes you feel the least amount of tension has to be good, right?

Saly said...

I am late to the party but CONGRATS!! Sending mad ju ju your way!

And I like the hands off approach.

Katy said...

I think you're doing exactly what you need to be doing--honoring YOUR decisions about this pregnancy. I spend a lot of time in medical land and, in my opinoin, that's the only way to do it.

Marie Green said...

I guess one "good" to come out of all of your trials is that you've become an expert at navigating all of this. Which is, I think, the most frustrating and difficult thing the first time(s) you go through a pregnancy. Now that you have the system figured out, you can decide which is your best course of action.

And it's so true that medicine has become a "consumer" activity. Well said!

Thinking about you in a very cautiously optimistic sort of way. We're all here, cheering you on... so do it your way, girl!

dining room tables said...

It is still you who can figure out what is wrong in your body. No one knows you body than yourself.