Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Movie Reviews

Firstly. The Other Boleyn Girl. Soap opera-ish? Check. A wee bit campy? Check. A one-dimensional character for Scarlett Johansson and an overly hysterical one for Natalie Portman? Check and check. Not nearly as engrossing as the book itself? Check. A very rushed timeline which squeezes the events of ten-plus years into a little under two hours? Check. A director who seemed PHYSICALLY UNABLE to segue from one scene to the next without placing a camera behind lattice work or a pillar or a tapestry, as though there were an Unseen Presence watching the movie with us the entire time? BIG CHECK.
And yet I loved it. And yet I will undoubtedly buy it and watch it and stroke its glossy case like one of the doomed puppies in Of Mice And Men. Because despite its drawbacks, which I was warned of ahead of time by reading other reviews, it still had all that I require for a satisfying movie experience. Exciting yet not quite porn-like sex scenes? Check. Lots of shots of various European castle-y structures with elaborately costumed actors frolicking about in them? Check. Much intrigue and romance and frantic horseback riding to and fro? Check. Lots of pregnancies and having of babies? Big fat CHECK. And we have a winner, folks!

Now, on to another recently viewed film, Silk. This movie, to quote Linda's husband, was a hell of a way to spend a Saturday night. It has Keira Knightley, who usually chooses decent films. It has elaborate costumes and is set in France in the vague "olden times" period of which I am so fond. It seemed set up to win with me. Yet how it disappointed. Minutes and minutes of drawn out travel scenes in which NOTHING happens and NO ONE speaks. A romance for which a man risks his nearly perfect marriage, a romance which is based only on EYE CONTACT and in which the two star-crossed lovers have never even SPOKEN. Love letters full of cringingly awful "erotic" prose. A forlorn Keira Knightley wasting away tragically, fainting in gardens, and being "aged" by apparently having someone liberally streak her hair with baby powder.

Check back next time for another exciting installation of "At The Movies With Semi-Desperate!"

19 comments:

Jess said...

I love your reviews, for real. You are so honest. And now I want to see The Other Boleyn Girl. But not Silk.

Tessie said...

Wait, did you love it because you love the BOOK so much? What if I just read the book? Do I still have to see the movie to get the full experience?

desperate housewife said...

Tessie: Well, my love of the movie WAS probably strongly influenced by my love of the book. So if I HAD to recommend one over the other, I would still recommend the book. But I'm fairly certain I would have at least strongly LIKED the movie even if I hadn't read the book. I am all about the historical epic type movie.

d e v a n said...

I have to admit I might not like either of those movies. However, I'm glad you enjoyed your movie!!!

Fine For Now said...

Thanks for telling about the movies! They sound interesting to me :)

Penny said...

Hmm. The previews for Bolyn did look bad, but I so love Portman that I won't be able to resist.

Maggie said...

So now I have a dilemma, do I read the book (which is dusty and sitting on my shelf) first or see the movie first?

Jana said...

Your review is MUCH more interesting than the so-called "professional" reviews I've read. I look forward to future reviews!

Mommy Daisy said...

OK, I still want to see The Other Boleyn Girl. But I'm going to read the book first. And I'm so excited that one of your blog readers is sending me her extra copy of the book. Yeah!

Black Sheeped said...

I felt so shocked by the new template. Shocked, I say!

Swistle said...

Best. Movie reviews. EVER.

MORE.

Swistle said...
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Musings of a Mom said...

Night out at the movie theatre after having one or more babies is the equivalent of going to the Academy Awards with Matt Damon.

bea said...

When I discovered your blog and the fact that you read and love Philippa Gregory so much I thought cool! But did you really see the same movie I did and read the same book? Five minutes into the film, I told my sister (who also read the book) that It was so different that I had to watch it as if it was not based on he book. I thought the plot was so different. I think they even changed history!

I would say to those on the fence, watch the movie first, then read the book. The book will be so much more satisfying. I still love your blog though :)

Shelly said...

I tagged you for a meme! And thanks for the book recommendation. It sounds interesting.

Artemisia said...

Have you seen Atonement? Holy cow, I thought that was good.

Now I am off toe see the Other Boyelyn Girl!

cady said...

i thought the same thing about the other boleyn girl. there were a lot of things that differed from the book or were just annoying, yet i loved it.

Sara said...
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Saly said...

Regarding your comment today, please see HERE

;) We found out yesterday