Wow, I guess partying has its price. I cannot seem to get it together this week, not to blog, not to keep up on laundry or housework or bedtimes, and certainly not to curtail the endless stream of white flour/sugar crappola I keep shoveling into my face. Though, that's partly because I know my diet/LIFESTYLE CHANGE (gag) is coming on Monday.
No, it's a diet. I always hork a little when people yammer on about lifestyle changes vs. dieting. I mean, yeah, things like switching to whole grain bread instead of white and using butter instead of margarine are lifestyle changes. But when you're talking about trying to lose weight, it's a DIET. Unless you're telling me you plan on NEVER EATING CHOCOLATE AGAIN as part of your lifestyle, then if you're currently avoiding it, you are DIETING.
I'm not so much trying to lose weight (though I certainly wouldn't COMPLAIN) as I am trying to stop feeling like crap and like my midsection is turning into squishy bread dough. I'm actually back to my pre-baby weight (thanks in no small part to nursing, I am sure) and even down a few pounds from that, but without exercise and with a regular routine of nighttime snacking in front of the TV, my body is starting to look and feel like a pale, unbaked bread stick. So I know with the advent of summer sun and a bit of gardening and walking the muscle tone and color will return, but I would like to feel like I'm nourishing my body more healthfully, especially since I'm still breastfeeding (is this the... very best bite for baby??)
Also, one thing I've learned over the years is that weight is just a number, and can have very little to do with how you look and how your clothes fit. When I was working out three times a week, I was almost ten pounds HEAVIER than I am now, but it was muscle, and I LOOKED a lot better. Especially my arms and belly. I also learned during Jim's Great Diet earlier this year that if you're eating a lot of carbs, your belly is bloating, whether or not you're actually gaining weight. When you're eating a lot of fiber and veggies and lean stuff on a regular basis, your skin looks better and your tummy looks flatter. Gah, I sound so annoying, but trust me, I'm really reminding MYSELF of this stuff, because currently I'm eating danish for breakfast and drinking my second cup of coffee and I do NOT feel excited about switching back to Greek yogurt and almonds and carrot sticks come Monday morning.
You know what else I've become sadly resigned to? Eating well is kind of expensive. At least it SEEMS more expensive. Maybe in the end it evens out because if you're buying a bunch of junk it takes MORE of that junk to feel full? I don't know. I just know that these days I about have a heart attack every time I check out at the grocery. Sorry 'bout your luck kids; please accept these nutritious skim-milk cheese sticks and fiber-licious Grape-Nuts in lieu of a college fund!
I wish I were joking. I just hope that all this (attempted) eating well pays off and enables them to focus well in school and get fantastic grades and earn themselves full rides to Yale.
In other eating related (read: probably boring) news, Jameson is really into solid foods now. That's SOLID. As in, not pureed baby food, but those Gerber puffs and also those weird rice rusk things that dissolve when gummed. He happily spends up to an hour at a time taking down a package of those bad boys, but still can't figure out how to OPEN HIS MOUTH for a spoon so I can get some oatmeal into his belly. (Not that I'm trying all that hard... I despise the whole baby food routine, and honestly prefer ridiculously frequent nursing for awhile until baby can manage some mashed up table food thrown on his tray. I have enough trouble getting the five and three year old to eat without spending another half hour after dinner playing airplane just to get a few tablespoons of Earth's Best into the baby's belly, and the rest of the jar on his clothes. Spare me!)
So, the James is still frequently hungry and nursing three times a night, every night. I am so used to being exhausted that I felt better than usual the night I was out at a freaking DANCE CLUB until two am, because at least once I got to bed I slept, uninterrupted, for seven whole hours. Everyone else was staggering around, bleary eyed, the next morning, and I was all, "Good morning! I feel fantastic! Where's the coffee? And also my pump? 'Cause the girls here feel like rocks! Also I am SO AWAKE WHEEE!"