Thursday, July 29, 2010

Art and Ultrasounds

So, two things: first, a parenting question. How does one delicately go about disposing of the ten to twenty pictures, many of them consisting largely of a few dots on an otherwise blank sheet of scratch paper, produced by their offspring each week? Certainly I save the good ones, but I literally cannot save every single picture from every single Princess coloring book, nor can I frame and cherish every single blurry watercolor, no matter how much effort and pride is involved in its production. The few times I've been found out throwing things away there was much crying and wounded feelings about it, so I've resorted to saving everything in a big pile and then quietly doing away with stuff in the dark of the night when everyone's tucked into bed. This feels sort of sneaky and wrong and not-nice-mother-ish, but what am I supposed to do? Is it ok to continue to let the kids THINK that everything is being saved when in fact much of it is meeting The Big Trash Compactor In The Sky?

The other thing is a doctor's appointment update. The good: baby is measuring about a week ahead for his gestational age, and weighs almost three pounds. That makes me feel good, 'cause my others were always about a week behind where they should have been, growth wise. (Also makes me feel better about how HUGE I am already!) The other good is that I finally got to see the OB that I slightly prefer, and she agreed to be on call for my delivery! I don't dislike the other doc, but this other one is known for being pretty laid back and hands off when it comes to the birthing part, and the nurses at the hospital (as well as my doula!) all said she was the best for water birth, so obviously I was hoping to have her. The other doctor's nice enough and all, but much more traditional in her style of "actively managing" delivery. At least that's what I've gathered.

The bad is that my cervix is shorter yet. It's now 2.9 cm, when a normal, "safe" length is between 4 and 6. So I'm not on bedrest YET, but I'm to continue with my modified bed rest rules, the ones I've kinda given to myself (basically lying down whenever I feel more than one contraction or feel the baby's head starting to engage, drinking water, taking deep breaths, etc) and then we're reevaluating in two weeks based on where my cervix length/dilation is then. If I get sidelined then, that will be two weeks earlier than with the other two... Six weeks of bedrest somehow sounds much more depressing than four!

So keep your fingers crossed that I can be allowed to stay up for at least another month and that the baby doesn't come until he's fully cooked!

18 comments:

Hillary said...

Fingers crossed for a well-cooked baby. : )

As for the art, I totally do the post-bed toss. I also ship some of it off to grandparents. The Boy loves sending packages and I no longer have to deal with the stuff.

Jana said...

Hurray for getting the more laid-back doctor! I hope you get to avoid bed rest....it's gotta be tough when you have little ones to care for.

As for artwork, I dispose of it late it night as well, but only for the boys (ages 2 & 3). I make Syd (age 7) go through a giant pile of it several times a year and make "keep" and "toss" piles herself. I'm hoping she'll learn how to prioritize and the "why are you throwing away my masterpieces?" conversations are no longer an issue.

Swistle said...

Definitely crossed fingers.

I have a "Forever Box" where I keep the things I want to keep. If a child gives me something to put in my Forever Box, and it's not something I want in my Forever Box, I put it in a pile on my desk until we have all forgotten about it, at which point I dispose of in under cover of night.

I figure by the time they figure out I was lying, they'll have forgotten alllllll about this.

Swistle said...

"dispose of IT under cover of night."

And also, for older children who are too old for deception, I allow THEM to keep stuff if they want to. (Then I dispose of THAT under cover of night. Hee, no, just kidding.)

Fran said...

I keep it all for a while then go through it, first asking them (well the boys anyway at 10 and almost 7 can help) and then throwing it out on trash day after they leave for school. In the summer I just keep it all or ask as I go.
I will keep crossing every available appendage for you and the new bundle!!

Sage said...

Scan the art work in and you will have it forever in very little space

Kim said...

I have a 3 (almost 4) year old, and I totally make her go through her artwork. She keeps a basket on her drawing table, and completed artwork goes in it. When the basket is full, she has 3 choices:

1) hang it on her display board (bulletin board thing hanging on her wall) only 5 make it here. She decides what stays and goes.

2) file it in a 3 ring binder - I help her put them in sheet protectors. If the binder is full she has to decide what stays and goes.

3) toss it herself.

If the basket is full, she can't continue drawing until the basket is emptied.

d e v a n said...

I throw a lot away after they go to bed. A LOT. I save the best ones to put in their baby books, but who has room for saving all those pictures?! They can draw over 20 pictures a day if they're in the mood!

Many prayers for a well cooked baby!

Saly said...

Things we want to save go in a keepsake bin in the basement. The rest gets mixed in with our newspaper recycle. And if by chance a child notices one of their beloved masterpieces in the bin, I play “How did THAT get in there??? Let me set it here so I remember to take it downstairs!” And then I dispose of it in the cover of night.

Yay for big healthy baby!!

Jess said...

I love Swistle's idea (though yours might be too young for this still) of telling them that if they want it, THEY keep it. Unless they're mini pack rats who will keep everything.

Fingers crossed! Glad the baby seems to be thriving in there despite the short cervix.

bananafana said...

I have a forever box too but EVERYTHING goes into the box and then when I'm feeling unemotional and unattached (ie not PMSing) I sort through it (under cover of night) and dispose of stuff that means nothing to me. It's way harder than I thought it would be but right now they believe everything is being kept.

Glad you're getting the doctor you want! It makes such a difference. I breathed such a sigh of relief when you hit 28 weeks so I'm hoping that your still feeling good about getting as far as you have (and you're still going!). Everything will be fine! That said, bedrest SUCKS and I'll be praying that you're up on your feet for as long as possible. I imagine bedrest with two kids would make me lose all will to live. Wait - that's not encouraging . . . bedrest would be awesome! I'm sure the kids would take care of you all day and you could all just snuggle in bed and nap all day long!

Kalendi said...

Praying for you and the baby!

I like the idea of the forever box. My mother did a similar thing for me...she would ask me if it was to go into her dresser drawer after being hung for a while of if it could be replaced with something new. It seemed to work. The funny part is when they sold the house when I was forty she still had some of our stuff in her drawer!

Mommy Daisy said...

The art question made me smile. I find that I'm hardly at all sentimental about those things. I thought I might be, but I'm not. I let them sit around for a while, then I clean them out.

When I was in college, one of my professors offered great advice about dealing with gifted art from students. He said take them home, then throw them away there. It would be devastating for a child to see their artwork in the trash at school the next day, but if you throw it away at home you can save yourself lots of space instead of saving every last thing.

All this to say that I do save some things now and then, but for the most part I don't worry about it. If the kids fuss about it, I'd just do it when they were in bed.

Marie Green said...

Art- yep. Keep doing what you're doing. Throw stuff when they are not looking, and don't make the WORST MISTAKE of leaving it visible on the top of the garbage. Always bury it. I even clean off the fridge (they add stuff themselves often) when no one is looking and at 7 and 3, they've never noticed.

Baby- yay, baby! Keep growing! And I'm rilly rilly hoping that that cervix of yours shapes up. Long and hard. Long and hard. That's the message I'm sending it. And yes, we're still talking about cervixes. ;)

Katy said...

I say throw it away at night. When I taught school we collected everything and threw tons of it away--kids forget what they colored or drew unless it's special.

Congrats on getting the good doctor. I've missed the pots about the water birth, so I'm off to go find that one now. . .

Mimi said...

I've heard of someone who takes digital pics of every piece of artwork her child produces, so they always have a memory of it on the computer. Then that person prints out most of the pictures and puts them into an artwork scrapbook. Obviously this person is not me, as it requires a certain level of organization and commitment that I wouldn't be able to achieve. But maybe you can! =)

Kelsey said...

I throw stuff away at night as well. But I have also actually just said to Harper that we can't possibly keep all of it and she helps me decide what to recycle on occasion. Once there was a whole collection of alphabet pictures we weren't willing to save but I let Harper help me take pictures of them and we saved it in a file for her on the computer... maybe a solution for when they start noticing that you're burying stuff in garbage!

Kelsey said...

Oh, crossing my fingers took, of course!