Tuesday, May 18, 2010

600. Not Nearly As Awesome As The Cast Of 300.

Hey! This is my six hundredth post. How have I managed to write six hundred times and not yet say anything earth shaking or award winning? Who knew there was so very much banality floating around in my head, just waiting to escape into Teh Internetz?

For instance, this: last night I had a weird dream (I was dating an affluent young Vanderbilt who was also a drug dealer on the side, and who was beating me up every time I confronted him about the stash hidden under his bed. His younger brother, who was the black sheep of the family, witnessed one of these encounters and rescued me from evil boyfriend, and then spent the latter half of the dream basically stroking my hair and telling me how wonderful I was and how he and I would ride off into the sunset together as soon as I felt like climbing out of his arms and ending his monologue of sweet nothings.) WEIRD. But the end part left me feeling all warm and fuzzy, and then I woke up and realized there's a kid with a pee diaper in my bed, it's still raining and gloomy outside, my throat still hurts and tries to choke me every time I swallow or yawn, the house is still covered in toys, the dishwasher still needs filled, and there's a load of cold, wrinkly clothes in the dryer to be put away.

It's so stupid, but those few moments of coming out of a dream and into reality, especially if a dream was romantic (albeit bizarrely) and reality is fairly tedious, can leave me in a funk that lasts for HOURS. Please tell me other people have this problem. Slash MENTAL ISSUE.

Wow, I can't believe this is what I'm writing about on my six hundredth post. I should be doing a list of six hundred awesome! facts about me, or something, since I never got around to doing it for post one hundred, as is tradition. Hmm. How about six awesome! and/or kind of sad and random facts about me? (Hey, I'm sick and uncaffeinated. Random is all I can manage.)

1. I've watched Sense and Sensibility, Pride and Prejudice and Emma more times than I can count. I've watched almost of the different versions of them, too, though my favorites remain as follows: the Sense and Sensibility with Emma Thompson and Kate Winslet, the BBC Pride and Prejudice with Colin Firth, and the Emma with Gwyneth Paltrow. I also own and love Becoming Jane, the movie based on the life of the author of these novels. I have not, however, managed to finish even a single Jane Austen novel. And I like to read. I have no explanation for this, for it cannot be that I just really don't like her books. OBVIOUSLY I like the stories, so... what's the problem?

2. I was the editor of the school yearbook my senior year. This, uh, is far less impressive than it sounds. It was a small school, and pretty much no one else even wanted to do it. Nor did I, by the end of the year.

3. When I was little I was totally compulsive about certain things, like making my bed. It had to be perfect, and if anything or anyone messed it up before bedtime, I would cry and flip out because I just knew I would never get it so PERFECT ever again. Ditto about the arrangement of stuff on my dresser. I dusted it every day, then spent probably twenty minutes making sure it was exactly as it had been the day before. If I was unable to do this to my satisfaction, I would sometimes sneak up at night and start fixing it again. I also had to wash my face like four times a day, and then if anyone touched my face, I had to wash it again because their evil oils would no doubt make me break out! Hmm. Reading all this is making me wonder how on earth I ever got over it. Having kids, I guess. Because now I can't really think of anything I'm helplessly compulsive about, though there's plenty of things that I wish I were more compulsive about if only I had the energy.

4. I used to swear that my first boy and girl's names would be Dante and Felicity. Or possibly Genevieve, it depended on the day. But Dante was written in stone.

5. I much prefer baths to showers, as long as I know for a fact that the tub is clean. This is mainly because I am nearly incapable of shaving my legs without cutting them unless I'm in the bath. I don't really know why this is, but it is a definite fact. Just the other day I gave myself a truly gruesome, two-inch long flesh wound on my thigh, all while shaving ever so carefully. It might have been the generic razor, it might be the extra-strong leg hairs from those darn prenatal vitamins, but it also might just be that I'm practically handicapped when it comes to handling sharp objects. I fantasize about the day when I can afford electrolysis.

6. I sucked my thumb at night until I was nine. That's NINE (9) years old. I also slept with stuffed animals until I was about ten. I actually thought that their feelings would be hurt if I didn't take them to bed with me, even though for the last couple of years I didn't even want them in there. So yeah... I felt guilty about inanimate objects.

Well, that was fun! Join us in another hundred posts for "Seven Fun Facts"!

Oh yeah! Shelly from Scenic Overlook won my contest last post, so email me, Shelly, and you'll soon be the proud owner of a box full of junk some awesome and enviable prizes!


Fran said...

I am SOOOOO glad I'm not the only one who thought I would hurt my stuffed animals feelings!! And I kept them on my bed until I got married!! But I'm weird like that :)
Congrats on your 600th and thanks for telling me that it is a kind of tradition to do these posts since my 100th is coming up in 12 more posts!!

Jana said...

Congrats on your 600th post!

I'm so with you on the Jane Austen - seen all the movies, haven't finished one book. Although, I think I liked the "Emma" that was on PBS' Masterpiece Classic a few months ago more than the Gwyneth Paltrow one. But the Colin Firth P & P wins hands down, that's for sure. Of course, that's probably because I LOVE me some Colin Firth.

d e v a n said...

bwahahaha! #4 is totally me! (the animals, not the thumb.)
You should get one of those razors where the razor is surrounded by soap. It's a shick i think. Almost impossible to cut yourself.

Hillary said...

I'm STILL like that about the bed.

Anonymous said...

I really really liked Becoming Jane, even if it made me so very sad for her. Have you seen The Jane Austen Book Club? Not fabulous but worth watching.

I slept with a stuffed animal off and on all through college. Every once in awhile my kid will leave one in my bed and I'll wake up the next morning cuddling it. I also thought my stuffies had feelings. In fact, when I was 25-ish, I was with friends and for some reason ended up carrying around a teddy bear while shopping in Target. When it was time to leave, I bought the bear b/c I knew he'd thought he was going home with me from being carried around so long and I couldn't just put him back.

I was also convinced my stuffies had parties together when I wasn't around.

Mommy Daisy said...

Congrats on the 600! I like your fun facts. A little more insight into the real Sarah. ;)

Tracy said...

ha! I totally felt that way about my stuffed animals, too! I was at least 10!

artemisia said...

Oh, man. I used to get out of bed at night to clean the stovetop with a toothbrush. Yeah. Glad I have relaxed a bit. (too much?)

Swistle said...

YES, totally, if I have a romantic dream I'm in a funk for at least part of a day. Last night I dreamed of being beaten and kept captive in a cave. I felt GREAT in the morning.

I sucked my thumb until I was 8.5 years old and my orthodontist said he'd put hooks on the inside of my braces if I didn't stop.

My top two girl names are the same as yours were! But not my boy names.

Jess said...

I also sucked my thumb until I was nine! Everyone was very upset about it and did everything to try to get me to stop. But I ended up just growing out of it and stopping on my own. And I never needed braces despite what everyone always told me about how sucking my thumb would give me an overbite.

saly said...

I was the same way with my "stuffies". My teddy bear, Charles (named after Charles Ingalls) still sits on my dresser. I can't have him thinking that I've forgotten about him just because i have a husband, you know.

I was sure I would name my 1st girl Molly. SURE OF IT. I didn't name either girl that.

Weird, huh?

Sarah said...

saly- well, for me, it had something to do with the fact that as a high schooler, I had kind of forgotten that the father of these kids might have an opinion about their names, too. And the opinion on all three of those names was: no. So sadly, there will never be a Felicity or a Genevieve.

Anonymous said...

I get that way with dreams. I get that way during normal days too. The other day I was in a funk for a while because I wished that I married someone who could sing so that we could harmonize together like on glee. Ridiculous.

I also felt bad about my stuffed animals. I have a tub of them in my garage, along with my barbies and my american girl doll (from the age when they were historical dolls instead of the "choose your own creepy similar genetics" era). I buried my best bear friend with my brother, saying that he had been my friend and companion, and he will keep my brother safe. Pretty much everyone's heart broke at that moment but I felt like it was the thing I needed to do. When my mom presented my son with a Crombie duplicate that she had been saving for 20 years, oh my god, the emotions.

Katy said...

I prefer baths to showers and have never been compulsive about cleaning anything, ever.

My BIL will sometimes wake up and have his thumb back in his mouth--some habits die hard.

Nose in a book said...

Yeah, I'm not a fan of Jane Austen's books but love the films/TV series. I've read a couple and I get that it's all super-ironic but it's just so...stilted. No emotions, no descriptions, just dialogue and stage directions. You can see why it works on screen.

FWIW my favourite Emma is the one made in 1996 for British TV starring Kate Beckinsale and Samantha Morton. She doesn't play Emma as manipulatively as Gwyneth Paltrow but somehow it still all works better. There was a BBC version of it last year starring Romola Garai that I thought was more faithful to the book but didn't grab me in the same way.

Congrats on the 600!