Hmm, well that last post got a lot of response (for my blog anyways!) I kind of figured it would. In my experience, people are usually very eager to talk about what is "normal" in terms of relationships. It's such a hard thing to gauge or assess when you're so close to your own situation- it's basically impossible to be objective.
What I often think is that marital problems of the more slow-simmering, daily irritant type are sometimes a bigger deal than the giant, blow-up issues like cheating or having secret credit cards with enormous balances. The little stuff can and often does stay unsaid for so long, sometimes, and usually because the person bottling things up thinks they're doing the mature, unselfish thing: not rocking the boat over trivial, petty stuff that probably wasn't done with any malice anyways. However, almost inevitably those little petty things boil over all at once, causing both parties to kind of step back in shock and say, "WHHAAA? I thought we were FINE!" And the attacked party to demand, fairly enough, "If you're so mad why didn't you SAY something?"
So in this way, I think the little stuff can be more dangerous than the big stuff. I know this is a widely acknowledged fact and I'm not announcing anything brilliant or new, but it bears repeating, I think.
Therefore, what I'm curious about, as long as we're on the topic of how we deal with relationship issues, is this: do you think it's better to come right out and SAY every little thing as soon as you feel mad about it, to prevent the Simmering Rage problem, or is it better to shut up about it if you can, to avoid coming off as a nagging, harping, chronically dissatisfied partner/spouse? I've tried both ways with varying degrees of success, and I'm honestly not sure which makes for a healthier, happier relationship. So tell me!
*Oh and remember it IS National Delurking Day, so even if you don't think you have anything to contribute to the relationship conversation, just say hi, ok?