Thursday, October 01, 2009

On The Bright Side

I think I have some sort of innate, Polly-type gene which causes me to make note of every little thing that is GOOD about an otherwise CRAP situation. While kind of cheesy and embarrassing, it's an excellent coping tool. It's just not a coping tool that I like having foisted upon me, I've noticed: it's one thing to mention to yourself, mentally, that maybe it really wasn't the best time yet to be pregnant and tired and large-bellied, because my gosh, Eli seems to be ramping up those tantrums every day, but it's quite another thing when someone else remarks upon this. Likewise for money, time, energy, housing situation, etc. It's all well and good and comforting for me to reassure myself that, hey! Maybe by the time another baby comes we will have moved or added on, but it makes me bristle a little when someone suggests that goodness! It certainly would have been a tight squeeze to add another child to our house! Even though, y'know, it's actually bigger than the house I grew up in, with two other siblings.


I know this is my own problem, entirely, because I am basically hearing my own thoughts repeated to me. Gah. Defensive much?

So anyways, here is some little stuff that is making me happy in spite of things:

-Cooking in cold weather is always much more fun for me. I even made homemade marinara with all of our garden tomatoes, something I wouldn't have even attempted if pregnant and nauseaus. And I've been meal planning and baking muffins and just generally enjoying food. (And drink.)

-Sleep. How I love my sleep. Despite the constance of Eli's nighttime wakings, which occur least once a week but usually more often, they are definitely decreasing in furor. I can usually settle him down and put him back in his own bed within ten minutes. And he's still napping pretty reliably. So in general I feel well fed AND well rested. It's nice to feel healthy again.

-I have a massage gift certificate I haven't used yet. I'm just savoring the anticipation and waiting for the perfect time.

-It's so much easier to go places with kids this age. Um, loud public tantruming aside, but whatever. I'm immune to embarassment now. You don't really need to drag the stroller and the diaper bag with you everywhere, just as long as they're stashed in the car for emergencies, and there's no constant planning around nursing or twice-a-day naps. Both kids can walk on their own now, as long as I hold Eli's hand, and, when in the right mood, they both really enjoy outings.

-Eli is learning SO many words, and starting to speak in sentences. Hallelujah! While he still throws fits when he doesn't get his way, at least he's not resorting to screaming due to lack of communication skills very often anymore.

-I'm really excited about Adelay turning four. Four seems so grown up, but that's okay with me. I really enjoy kids between the ages of, oh, four and eight. They're so inquisitive and learning so much, but they're still so funny and fun and don't usually have attitudes yet. AND! They wipe their own butts. Or so I'm hoping.

14 comments:

Shelly said...

I have a massage gift cerficate too! And a birthday coming up...I think those two things will dovetail nicely.

Jess said...

I don't think it's defensive at all. You are thinking your own personal thoughts with all the context of understand yourself and your life. Other people are saying things that they are really just guessing at. For you it's appropriate. For them it's not. End of story.

Mommy Daisy said...

It is sometimes painful, but good to look at the bright side of life. It's what I tend to do more often than not.

d e v a n said...

I am the same way - I wouldn't want people to tell me those things I was already thinking. It's different for you to think it!

All good things on that list!

Hillary said...

I'm with Jess. Also, people telling me my house is too small for my family is one of my biggest pet peeves. It's a three bedroom house, albeit a small one. I grew up in a trailer. People all over the world live in SHACKS. If anything good comes of this recession, it might be the death of the McMansion.

Pickles and Dimes said...

Eli is such a little man already! How did that happen? Both your kids are absolutely adorable.

artemisia said...

I liked this post. You sound genuinely happy about these things - yay!

I think feeling a bit irked by others; (well-meaning) comments is natural. YOU know your ENTIRE situation; they only know the surface and are still commenting.

Katy said...

I'm that way when my mom tries to give me Charlie advice. Even if I'm thinking the EXACT thing--I don't want her to say anything.

I'm also kind of Polly-anna-ish--always looking on the brightside. I think it's good for my mental health or that's what i tell myself anyway.

Erin said...

I would feel the SAME WAY about someone repeating my own thoughts to me like that. Kind of like how you're allowed to pick on your own siblings, but people outside the family are NOT ALLOWED to do the same. EVER.

desperate housewife said...

Erin- Hah, yes, exactly like the sibling thing. I can tell you you're using terrible judgement or that your hair looks awful, but if I so much as hear someone outside our family hint at the same thought they will get the Glare of Death.

clueless but hopeful mama said...

You are joking: people really say those things to you?? WT....?

You are joking: someday my daughter will wipe her own butt?!?!

Swistle said...

I feel the SAME WAY. If _I_ say it to MYSELF, I'm comforting myself. If someone ELSE says it to me, they're telling me I'm an idiot for feeling bad.

Anonymous said...

I'm a new reader/lurker here. And anonymous because I can't remember my google name and pass. Anyway, I can totally identify with you. Having had 2 m/c myself, it pisses me off so much when people say that stuff. I mean really, who are they to think they know so much about your personal life. Not only are comments like that extremely nosy but also extremely insensitive. I think your thinking is warranted and completely normal and not at all defensive.

Jen @ Rolling Through Looneyville said...

There are certain things people just SHOULD. NOT. TOUCH. in conversation. Other people's fertility, family plans, birth control options, etc are amongst the biggest.

Looking on the bright side keeps you sane.