Thursday, February 05, 2009

Double The Fun

This is so, so, SO premature, but here's the thing: we are probably going to start Clomid in four weeks, which even at the low dose I will be on does increase the likelihood of twins, so... I keep finding myself staring off into space contemplating twin names. Wondering if they would be a boy and a girl or two of a kind. Wondering if my body would ever recover from that pregnancy. Wondering how reasonable/possible it would be to attempt to exclusively breastfeed two babies while caring for a four year old and a two year old, even if the four year old were in part time preschool. Wondering if it's possible to give birth to twins without a c-section, of which I am terrified (mainly due to a VERY bad experience with spinal anesthesia when I had knee surgery.) This concern is so great I've been dreaming about giving birth to twins naturally.

So, again, I REALIZE I am jumping the gun and overthinking and borrowing trouble and all that, but do you guys have any words of comfort related to the above subjects? Or, failing that, some really great name ideas for two boys, two girls, or one of each?

*Also, I want to say, I realize that I'm making it sound like twins is my worst fear, which obviously would come across pretty, um, crappily to those of you who already have them. Don't get me wrong, I think IN THEORY twins sound adorable and fun too. But ideally, the twins would come FIRST. Then any singletons you might have. When I try to contemplate adding twins to our existing family, my eyes start getting wide and panicked. When I imagine taking a preschooler, a toddler, and two newborns anywhere out of the house together, the idea overwhelms me completely. When I envision two high chairs, two exersaucers, two cribs, etc., I feel like our house would be overtaken completely by kid stuff and I should just give up trying to pretend grown ups live here too.
So yeah, I guess the idea has me a little freaked out. But I sincerely apologize to any of you with twins who are feeling a little miffed by the TONE of this post. I of course can also envision lots of lovely things about twins, but those things don't have me panicked. THESE things (see above) DO have me panicked, so those are the ones I am asking for help with.
Thanks in advance!


Kristin.... said...

I have twins. They're 2 now. I also have a 4 year old and an 8 year old. SO, you can see that my attempt at a third was double the fun. I did give birth naturally~no drugs, but not my intention AT ALL!
So,if you find out you're pregnant with twins, email me. :) I'll walk you thru it all! Or, email me anyway!

Mommy Daisy said...

Well, at least you are aware of the possibiliy. I think twins would be fun, but I agree that it would probably be much easier to have them first (too late for that). I do know someone personally who had her twins vaginally with an epidural. They were born early though and were tiny (both with different health problems). But I think the birth thing is posisble...especially since you've had two great birth experiences already. Good luck!

Mimi said...

It is terrifying to think about twins as a possibility, but if it actually happened I betcha everything would work out fine. =) P.S. I have a good friend who had her twins totally naturally.

Jess said...

OK, twins ARE my worst nightmare, and that is not intended as an insult to people who already have them--quite the opposite, I think they are saints and heroes for managing to deal with twice the baby at once. ESPECIALLY if they also have older kids.

But, parents of twins mostly seem happy and twins get that special bond and are adorable, so it's obviously not as bad as we think it is and even when it is bad, it's worth it. You know?

d e v a n said...

We used Clomid to conceive O and I was nervous about twins too, but we only had one child at the time. As you can see, we just had one.
I have a fear that I will agree to have ONE MORE baby and then have twins, which would make 5 KIDS which is OVER MY LIMIT!!
*ahem* OK, not about me...

So, maybe the fact that I used Clomid and didn't have twins will make you feel a bit better.
Also, my dh is a twin and his parents survived. :) Not firstborn either!

Swistle said...

Everyone is different ("unique parenting snowflakes" as Jonniker says), but I was SO GLAD I had my twins as my THIRD pregnancy. My first baby was such a huge shock, I don't know how I would have managed two. And my second baby was the most difficult addition to the family, not because he was a difficult baby (he was a sweet little dandelion fluff) but just because of something magically difficult about going from one to two. But having the twins THIRD---I was so worried, and it was...well, it wasn't a piece of cake, but I kept thinking over and over that I was SO GLAD I hadn't had them FIRST. I'd already gone through the whole c-section thing twice, and the breastfeeding thing twice, and the new-baby-at-home thing twice, so I felt really comfortable handling that whole thing---unlike with my first one, and even with my second one.

It's definitely possible to have twins without a c-section. (I had to have a c-section but for completely different, non-twin-related reasons.)

The pregnancy was...rough. But survivable. And so exciting for everyone else---it was nice to get more attention than I'd normally have gotten with a third pregnancy.

Twin names---OMG, I would totally help! And I would call in the troops to help! Twin names are challenging, like a hard Sudoku puzzle, but SO satisfying to find good ones.

What freaked me out most with twins was the CAR and the EQUIPMENT, but it turned out just fine. We just bought a used minivan. And when people find out you're having twins, they go NUTS with handmedowns in a way they would NOT go if you were having one, so we got handmedown crib and all kinds of other equipment and clothes, and all we had to buy were the car seats. With things like exersaucers and swings, you can have two of them---or you can just have one of each as usual, and have one twin in the swing and the other twin in a bouncy seat. Also, get this: when they're newborns, they can SHARE a bouncy seat! It is TEH CUTEST. You would not believe!

d e v a n said...

OMg, that does sound cute!

RachelAnn said...

Twin names : ) For girls I like: Madison, Gabriella, and Kenley. For boys I like: Cayden, Greyson, and Tate.

Astarte said...

Hmmm... then would you be the Totally Desperate Housewife??? :)

How exciting!

jen said...

I know at least 2 people who gave birth naturally to mostly full term twins. Not ALL twins are born via c/s @ 25 weeks.

I also know at least 3 people who successfully exclusively breastfed twins, though 2 of them had to pump at first, and 2 of them also had other kids.

I used to be in fear of twins for the same reasons, like I'd be forced into a c/s and I am pretty sure everyone around me would do whatever they could to sabotage the nursing thing. It was hard enough to nurse ONE baby with all the commentary I got. But stick to your guns and research and you'll do fine.

And swistle owes us all a picture of newborn twins sharing a bouncy seat.

Momma Mary said...

I was on clomid right before we concieved our first. I was terrified I would end up with twins -- because DH is military, I'd be doing it all ALL by myself. But we got off of the clomid and ended up pregnant. I'm still convinced that it 'kick-started' my body... Hopefully verything will work out!

Jill said...

My mom recently told me that a friend of hers who has twin boys my age never knew she was having twins until she delivered. Obviously, technology was a bit different almost 30 years ago, but I believe the doctor looked at the father and said something like "um, how many cribs do you have at home?" Can you even imagine? But she had a vaginal birth, so it can definitely be done.
My husband thinks it would be great to have twins, and of course he does, because he's military and will be gone a lot. Fun for him, terrifying for me. Although I mentioned that to a twin and she got horribly offended. Like you said, *other people's* twins are fun, the idea of *me* having them is horrifying.

Kelsey said...

My husband's grandmother (on his mom's side) had twins that she didn't know were twins until they were born - can you imagine?

I think it is good to think about the possibility and to know that you will be fine no matter what.

A new baby or new babies take some adjusting no matter what the size of your family is - and you'd have a lot of support, especially online!

It would be SO FUN to announce a TWIN pregnancy to all of us, no?