Friday, July 15, 2011

Lord, Beer Me Strength

It is not quite nine o' clock in the morning, and I have already dealt with three separate and distinct temper tantrums, one of which ended with myself being slapped in the leg with surprising strength for a little kid. These episodes were interspersed with your more garden variety whining and moaning about such atrocities as not getting the correct spoon, not finding the favorite pants in the dresser drawer, etc. All this from the same child. Said child has been in time out twice already (once marched there quite firmly) and has had a toy taken away AND has had a couple of come-to-Jesus-style talks with Dad when my time outs were ignored.

Said child has also, while doing somewhat better on the Number One issue, been having some serious issues with the Number Two issue, and I must say that while I anticipated the stress and chaos and toys and temper tantrums, I never, never could have fully comprehended just how disgusting parenthood can be sometimes.

Oh, and I do even have to say that Said Child is of course also Middle Child? This right here is why I must have four, and why I think perhaps four is our magic number: no middle child. Though perhaps once a kid has been a middle child for any length of time, the damage (i.e. the world is against me and all is unfairness and woe!) is already done. Thoughts? Advice from adult middle children?


saly said...

No advise, unforch, but I just wanted to say that "the world is against me and all is unfairness and woe" fits Lucy, my middle, perfectly. And no matter how much I coddle her, do with her, or try to make her feel special and loved it is always the same.

Hope your day shapes up!

Nowheymama said...

I will say that our middle has chilled out quite a bit lately, but is it because he is now #2 of 4? Or because he's older? Or because #4 is a boy so he is not outnumbered? I can't know.

Chelle said...

Ok, representing for the Middles, here; the problem? ALWAYS the other kids. Seriously.

Ha! Kidding!

Apparently, I am not a typical Middle; didn't play the blame game, rolled with the punches, tended to be the Peacekeeper rather than the initiator of EVIL, etc.

On the other hand, hubby is also a Middle, a CLASSIC Middle which, is why he refused to consider the idea of a third child.

So, really, I have no advice for you. All I can say is; kids are individuals with distinct personality types regardless of their birth order as evidenced by the inherent EVILNESS of my older sister.

And I'm not just saying that because I was a whiney Middle child, I swear.

Jana said...

No advice, just sympathy as my middle child is also a royal pain in the you-know-what most of the time. I'm hoping he'll outgrow it because we're done having kids.

bananafana said...

my 2 cents? More children just = more middle children. in our family of 5 there are 3 middle children and we're all a pain in the ass.

LoriD said...

The sun rises and sets on my middle. Seriously, he is the sweetest, happiest person I know. The oldest is good too, although she is prone to occasional moody bouts. My baby is the trouble-maker.

d e v a n said...

O has that attitude and although we have 4 children, he was the middle for about a year and a half and still fits that personality. We'll see if 2 & 3 end up with a middle child personality.
HOWEVER, *I* am a middle child and I think I turned out pretty great. :)

Jules said...

Our middle child likes to have said tantrums and then say "my bones have melted" and crumples to the floor like dead weight - and will not rise until picked up. All while I am trying to change child #3 who has the same adult strength slap your leg or kick your arm that you mention.
I sometimes think a vacation on a deserted island might be a nice way to detox. Summer can be a bummer for day moms.
But you did make me laugh... dad and the coming to Jesus talk! We have that too!

Nik-Nak said...

I'm the baby so I got nothing. But I wish you luck and patience!

Swistle said...

Our family birth-order thing got messed up by the twins, I think! Rob is definitely a firstborn. Henry is definitely a baby-of-the-family. The twins are sort of middles, but more than that they're The Twins. So we think of William as our middle child: not the oldest, not the youngest, and not twins. He's the only blonde/blue, which helps.

On the disgustingness issue, I had one kid like that. It...I just...I didn't know WHAT we were going to do. When that child started school, it mostly stopped: the child was petrified about having it happen while at school. We also talked to the pediatrician and got the child on a Miralax regimen that I didn't think had anything to do with the issue, but nevertheless helped.

Kelsey said...

So maybe I should look at that as an upside to no more kids? No middle?

I hope things improved after this post - I have days that feel totally impossible and I just don't know what to do with myself. Fortunately it isn't EVERY day.