Tuesday, October 26, 2010

It's Long, But There Are Baby Pictures!

So, I'm managing to post before another week is up. I also managed to clean out the fridge and grocery shop already this week, so I think I must be getting back to normal a bit.

We have a new dishwasher. Old one decided to break a week ago, so Jim tore it out, only for us to discover that despite living in a town with about five different appliance vendors, and despite requiring only a basic, run of the mill, nothing fancy dishwasher, no one had such a thing in stock and it would be at LEAST four days to order one. Um, no. House with newborn and two preschoolers needs a working dishwasher. Or a maid. Or someone with a system already in place for handwashing dishes. We don't even have a drying rack.

So I had a minor meltdown basically summed up by THIS SITUATION IS UNACCEPTABLE AND NOT MY FAULT THEREFORE IT WILL BE YOUR FAULT BECAUSE I NEED TO BE MAD AT SOMEONE. Then I went to a little locally owned appliance store at eight o' clock at night, found one close to the one we had chosen online but pricier, went to Lowe's and procured a signed copy of their sale price on said model (which would've taken two weeks to order from them) and then went back to local store and got it price matched. Next day, the dishwasher was ours!

And dang it, it still doesn't dry plastic stuff very well. Stupid high efficiency, energy saving b.s. But at least I have a sanitize cycle now in case, say, we have company for dinner and then find out the next day that they all have come down with flu.

What else... Oh! We had our follow up meeting with our doula, and it went really well. She gave me the birth story she recorded, and I also watched the birth video finally, so I feel like the experience is clear in my mind again and I will be able to do it justice in writing now. She gave me some breastfeeding advise and sympathy (because holy cluster feedings, Batman!) and we took pictures together. I was so happy to see her again. It's a strange relationship; someone becomes so important to you in this very specific way, and after a third baby, I'm thinking, "It's possible I might never see her again!"

Even though I DO think I want at least one more eventually, I'm not counting on anything. My record of pregnancy success is still three out of six, so I am very grateful and content right now with what we have. I also like to end on a high note, so to speak, so the idea of trying again feels kind of like... tempting fate, and messing up the happy ending. But seriously. I'm twenty six years old, and have a condition which doesn't allow me to take hormonal birth control. What are the odds I never get pregnant again, even if we don't technically "try" anymore? Yeah. So I kind of imagine I WILL see our doula again, is what I'm saying. :) I just really hope the streak of failed pregnancies has ended. Even now, with a chubby cheeked newborn beside me, the memory of the night I thought I was losing him to miscarriage is vivid in my mind. It was the most horrified I've ever felt, I think, and I never want to feel that way again.

Um, whoops! Totally had no intention of going down that particular rabbit trail today. But that's where my mind went, so I guess in the interest of honesty I'll leave it. But here's what I sat down intending to share today, so without further ado:











This was immediately after the sibling photo shoot. Just wanted you to know he didn't suffer for long. But yeah, that was a failed attempt at a photo op, over all. Eli was furious at being forced to wear a collared shirt, and the baby was just plain furious, as he often and randomly is, so that shot was the best we could do.

Eli's been quite... difficult lately, to be frank. Every time we go to a store he ends up running from me. He's fighting with Addy constantly. And the last week or so he has been having accidents on a daily basis, most of them very obviously intentional. Like yesterday, when I told him he couldn't have Halloween candy for breakfast, and he sat down on Addy's rug, peed, and then looked up at me angrily.

I mostly am at a loss. I know pottying is one of the most common ways toddlers act out after a new baby arrives. I know that with a (coughcoughkind of grouchy and needycoughcough) newborn in the house, he's getting less attention and probably feels like the only time anyone talks to him is to scold him. I know I'm holding him less than I was just a few weeks ago, and that must feel very abrupt and confusing to him. Sigh. I also know that there is a limit to how much crazy I can tolerate in one house before I go straight out of my mind, so I need this phase to cease very quickly. Beyond being hard to deal with, it makes me very sad for him. I just want him to feel better.

8 comments:

Jess said...

Oof. Sorry you're struggling with Eli. Sorry that Eli himself is struggling! And sorry that I have no short-term advice to offer you. I just don't know how you do it with three kids. I guess my best suggestion would be, if there's some way that he can have special one-on-one time with one of you guys, even if it's just a few minutes a day? Maybe that would help him adjust. And the other thing I can offer is the promise that he WILL feel better, he WILL adapt, you ALL will, and he will stop peeing on the rug and generally feeling disgruntled. I hope you guys get to that part soon!

Marie Green said...

Oh, my, that baby.... THAT BABY! I love how alert he is looking in the sling photo, and I LOVE how chubby-wubby his cheeks are already...

Good luck w/ Eli. You are all well within the "adjustment period" for your new family of five, so I'm hopeful he'll come around. What a huge upheaval a new baby is, for everyone!

d e v a n said...

I know the kids were miserable, but I love that picture of the 3 of them together.

sorry about the regression, I hate to say that it lasted, well... a long while over here. A few months at the very least... I still feel like C acts out just to get some negative attention. :/ But, overall, it's much better! Hang in there!

Random thing about dishwashers - I've read that none of them really dry plastic. There was some specific reason, but I can't remember it. It just made me feel less frustrated about the whole wet plastic stuff in general.

Swistle said...

OH CUTE BABY!! Look at him in his big boy shirt!!

Tracy said...

I'm with Devan. The regression lasted a little while. But, knowing the "cause" helped a little bit. That, and making him responsible for as much clean up as possible.

Also, I feel the same way about another- sort of. We do want another one, relatively soon, but the thought of going through another miscarriage makes my stomach hurt. Bad. *sigh*

Fran said...

ADORBS!! That teeny tiny flannely shirt nearly killed me! Sorry to hear there are adjustment issues. We did not have those so I'm afraid I have no advice for you. Does Jameson have that wonderful baby smell? I can almost smell it just looking at the pictures.....

Mama Bub said...

I love little boys dressed like big boys. LOVE. I'm sorry you're having a rough go of it. These kids don't give us a break do they?

bluedaisy said...

Congratulations on that beautiful baby boy!!! Hope everyone is able to settle in to the family of 5. We had some adjustments as well (from my oldest more so than the new middle child) but the kinks do get worked out- just takes some time. Wishing you rest, patience & above all, JOY :)