Tuesday, April 20, 2010

I'm A Big Kid Now

You know how people always talk about those defining moments when you recognize yourself as a REAL grown up? Like, not the usual symbolic rites of passage such as one's twenty-first birthday, or voting, or getting married or even becoming a parent, but more like, "I not only vacuumed the apartment this week, I vacuumed out my CAR." Or maybe the awful moment when you realize McDonalds just doesn't even taste very good to you anymore.

Well. I've had those moments, too. But I think this morning may be the most memorable yet. I haven't taken my Zofran for several days now, and was really beginning to think that morning sickness had quietly departed and would bother me no more. So I brewed and drank some decaf coffee this morning, had my peanut butter toast, and then prepared to load the dishwasher with last night's pots and pans, which I had felt too exhausted to even mess with yesterday evening. They were mostly rinsed, but I caught sight of some disgusting clumpy particle or another (no, NOT fish, at least) and felt a little gag rising in my throat.

Now, I haven't actually thrown up in a couple of weeks. I HAVE had moments of dry heaving, though, and I figured that's all this was, so I turned around from the sink to get rid of the gross sight that had triggered it all. And projectile vomited all over the kitchen floor.

It was just horrible. Maybe the worst vomit of my adult life. There was toast coming out my NOSE, and yes, I'm going to share that little fact because if I had to experience it, SO DO YOU. Misery loves company.

It was also all over the place- basically an entire cup of fresh coffee came up- and let me just say I'm so glad it happened in the kitchen on the hard floor. I still can't believe that I didn't realize I was going to throw up, though. I mean, throwing up on the floor generally ends at around age seven, no?

So obviously it wasn't the puking that made me feel adult-like. It was the pulling myself together, washing the vomit out of my hair, and then spending the next twenty minutes cleaning it UP that made me feel like a grown up. Usually my first instinct after such an episode is to run crying to my bed for awhile (shamefully, this is true even if it's one of my own children who has done the puking) but today I just kind of shook it off and started getting out spray and paper towels. There was no one to take care of me but myself, and no one was going to clean this up but me. So I pulled on my (maternity) big girl pants and got to work.

I still feel like I deserve a treat today to even things out, though.


Fran said...

Words fail me at the moment....... BLERK......YUCK......OUCH
Sorry, hope it was a one time thing. But mostly...YAY for grown ups?

Hillary said...

Oh man. Yuck.
You do deserve a gold star ... or gold cleaning gloves or something.

Mimi said...

I feel for you, dear. I had a stomach bug a few weeks ago where I puked up some peanut butter toast I had just eaten. It was BY FAR the worst throw-up I've ever experinced. PB toast just is not good coming back up, that's for sure.
Hope that doesn't happen to you again! =)

Erica said...

Ugh. Vomit out the nose is THE WORST. The burning!!!

I've got my uterus crossed for your morning sickness to be gone soon. Then you can move on to the other fabulous pregnancy joys... heartburn, leg/feet cramps, constant peeing, round ligament pain, etc. : )

Sarah said...

Erica: bwah hah hah. Many of those joys are here already, rest assured. Peeing twice a night? Check. Heartburn? Oh yes. Gone through a whole bottle of tums already. Round ligament pain? Heck yeah. Every time I cough or sneeze I kind of double over at the random stabs of muscle pain.
BUT. Already feeling the baby move is a big plus, which pretty much makes up for already feeling the rest of that junk.

d e v a n said...

yik. You definitely deserve a treat.

Jess said...

Oh, that is TERRIBLE. I am SO IMPRESSED that you didn't just go lie down and leave the puddle of vomit to dry before Jim gets home to clean it up.

Still. You DEFINITELY deserve a treat after that.

Tracy said...

oh man! definitely deserves a treat!

Swistle said...

You DO deserve a treat----like a million dollars, something like that.

Elizabeth said...

Those are the exact moments that still make me want to call MY mom and cry. You SO deserve a treat.

Marie Green said...

Man, that does really suck. I think I've experienced some "adult" moments during the times that the kids and I were both sick at the same time. I just wanted to lay in bed and DIE, but I had to also take care of a sick child (or children).

Katy said...

Yes. Sickness does make me feel like a grown up. Mostly because I dont' have my mommy to take my temperature and bring me sprite in bed.

So sorry about the projectile vomiting--that's never good.

Jen @ Rolling Through Looneyville said...

oh. my. word. yes, cleaning up ralph on the floor definitely defines you as a grownup.

Sometimes being a grown up sucks.

Get yourself something shiny. You can't throw that up :)

artemisia said...

Oh, GOD. I have not thrown up in, oh, probably 15, 16 years? I am sure I just jinxed myself, right there.

You are a big girl! I would be totally proud of myself for cleaning that up, because, damn, that is gross.