Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Typhoid Mary

So I've been a little quiet- sorry about that. Jim's birthday party was Saturday, and was a lot of fun, germs aside. But the day after, my hoarse, raspy voice turned into a full blown cold/hacking cough, the kind with sinus pressure so intense it makes your eyes water and burn all day. A cold of the variety where all you want in the world is just to sneeze but you can't so you walk around pinching the bridge of your nose and moaning and speaking in the exact voice of Joey's chain-smoking, eighty year old talent agent from Friends and you're basically putting on a hilarious parody of the show called, "Don't You Want Me, Baby?"

(Extreme points go to my sister for telling me my low, raspy voice was a "sexy voice" and to my mom and MIL for telling me I looked "so thin!" This makes me almost want to stay sick. Almost.)

(Uh, also, my apologies to everyone at church in my near vicinity on Sunday. I know, I should have skipped. Am really really sorry about that almost comically loud coughing fit during the singing, which necessitated my fleeing the sanctuary and doubling over in the lobby, half-retching, for a good five minutes afterwards while my eyes watered uncontrollably. And a big thank you is due the elderly greeter who graciously, wordlessly offered me a cough drop. What you have done unto the least of these, you have done unto Christ, my friend.)

7 comments:

Scottish Twins said...

You crack me up.

d e v a n said...

Seriously funny!!! (Sorry about being sick though!)

Shelly said...

I love the mental image of the elderly greeter silently handing you a cough drop.

Mimi said...

Aw, man! Coughing is the absolute worst.

mLou said...

Sad that you're sick..but boy am I glad you were not sitting behind be in church..especially during the "greet those around you" time '-)

ModernMom said...

Hello! Stopped by when I saw the fab name of your blog! Such a nice read!
Hope you feel better soon "Typhoid Mary", there seems to be a lot of that going around. :(

Musings of a Mom said...

You know, everybody has days when they aren't sure if they are sick or not, so no worries!! I've over-estimated my wellness way too many times.