Thursday, October 30, 2008

I Think I've Written This Post Before, But...

Today's exciting topic is spacing of children. This is something that frequently keeps me up nights. Say it's three am or so, and I'll have just settled Eli back in his crib, or given up and settled him into his favorite spot, draped across my neck in our bed, and it will occur to me that it would be awfully hard to be doing this WHILE being pregnant.

I think Addy was just a few weeks older than Eli is now when I got pregnant with him, so this would be roughly the time to try again if we wanted to aim for identical spacing patterns. But she was such a good sleeper that issues of bringing her into my bed at three in the morning maybe cropped up once a month, rather than once or twice (or every single night) a week like with Eli. And also there was just ONE of her. One of her, who napped reliably at least once a day and was kind of on the quiet, well-behaved side. (This is no longer the case, but darn it was luxurious while it lasted. Now it's all three-going-on-thirteen, hands on hips, ordering Mommy to the time out chair. While still refusing to go near the big girl potty. Yee-haw!)

I think about and waffle on this subject every. single. day. Part of me still really, really wants a big family, and wants kids approximately two years apart so they're close enough to be playmates and friends. Another part of me wants to perform my own lobotomy if I hear that familiar, swiftly escalating cacophony of tandem whining and screaming one more time. It's like some twisted, nursery school take on the dueling pianos concept so popular at dive bars.

Also, it amazes and frightens me how quickly I can go from thinking, "Look at the two little honeys! I must make MORE of them, right now!" to "Let's BOTH have sterilization procedures just to make sure, okay?" Surely such wildly shifting emotions cannot be trusted? I should probably put any decision making on hold until I can at least make it through a full day of feeling one way or the other.

Or... Does that day never come?

9 comments:

jen said...

ha! I've been thinking the SAME thing about how I need to get to a day where I think the same thing for a 24 hour period and it has yet to come!

Swistle said...

I just LOVE this topic. Just love. I'm having that right now (as always): part of me thinking this is SO fun and great and how could one more baby make a big difference, and part of me thinking I want to MOVE ON already to the next stage of life because this is ALREADY TOO MANY CHILDREN.

d e v a n said...

I know what you're thinking. I'm either firmly convinced there will be no more babies or firmly convinced there will. *sigh*

beth said...

I don't know if that day ever comes, but it is nice to know that I am not the only one who feels this way.

And those two angels? With those amazing blue eyes? How could you not make more immediately?

Shelly said...

Yeah, I've got a 6 year old and a 2 year old, and I still have those feelings EVERY DAY!

Lisa said...

I have only 1 older brother and remember very clearly when I was younger being jealous of my friends who had more than 1 sibling. It was in that time I thought I would have more than 2 kids.

We ended up with 4 and even with the last one not being part of the "plan" it is so exciting to watch them become more than just siblings. They are really starting to become friends. I did know without a doubt after the last one that I was DONE. Since his birth I have NOT ONE TIME wished for another.

You do make adorable babies!

CAQuincy said...

That day NEVER comes. I still think about it ALL THE D@MN TIME, and my hubs has said ABSOLUTELY NO MORE. And then I have one (*cough* SEVERAL) of those, "Calgon, take me away!" moments where I realize one more would just about kill me.

*sigh*

Nowheymama said...

At a Longaberger party the other night, someone asked me if we were done having children, and I non-answered because I thought it was a rude question. Then everyone automatically assumed we ARE planning to have more. We don't know! The answer keeps changing!

Mommy Daisy said...

I think for us, Matt will finally put his foot down at some point and have to say no more. He hasn't done that yet. In fact, since we're trying for our second, he has made a few fleeting comments about a 3rd. It shocks me, and I don't know how serious he is or whether he even realized he's said things like that. I would love to have more and more (4 or 5 I think), but I don't think he'd go for that.

As far as spacing, I've never thought there was a perfect spacing. I am the oldest, and my next sister was 3 1/2 years younger. THat would be the minimum we're looking at for spacing for another child. It just happened that way because of life cirsumstances. It worked well for my sister and I growing up, and we're grown even closer as adults. I don't think the age gap really matters in the grand scheme of things. Plus I've learned that God's timing is so much better than mine.

Just pray about it. God will guide you.