Saturday, November 11, 2006

The Amazing Expanding Heart

Is every mom as obsessed as I am with kissing their baby? Does that sound creepy? Sorry. It's just that there's this spot on Addy's neck, no matter how long it has been since her last bath, that always smells so irresistably yummy that I am forced to pepper her with kisses, whether she is inclined to be kissed or not (more often than not, it's the latter.)
Adelay has just never been a cuddler, if you know what I'm saying. Like there are some babies who have been giving generous kisses since they were six months old, but our baby... Well, we count ourselves lucky if she deigns to hold still while you drop a peck on her cheek rather than wriggling away as though you had the plague. And if you happen to get one of her kisses (which are a new, relatively infrequent phenomenon, and are usually bestowed with the expression of a fish lunging at you in slow motion,) well, you feel like you must be the most special and loveable person on the face of the earth to have merited such attention!
But the last couple days she has offered me a few genuine cuddles which have picked up my heart from the curb and sent it soaring: last night, for instance, as I was getting her ready for bed after a long day of cleaning, laundry, and grocery shopping, she began to get silly, and giggle hysterically as I pulled her jammies over her head. An all-out tickling session commenced, and there was giant, toothy smiles (oh adorable pearly baby teeth!) and shrieks of laughter and finally, the burying of oneself against Mama in blissful exhaustion. Is there anything more delicious than a plump, grinning baby, her belly lopping over her diaper, looking for all the world like the family's own personal Buddha? And they are really, these babies of ours: our own little spiritual gurus, helping to keep us on the path to serenity.
This morning, I got another surprise: Addy crawled up to me at the computer and put her arms up to be held. I assumed that as usual she wanted to examine all the numerous dangerous and unacceptable playthings which taunt her from the desk- my coffee, the remotes, the cords and stone coasters, and so forth. But she just wanted a cuddle! She leaned back into me, chattering happily, and laid against my chest for like five minutes, completely relaxed, just... Snuggling! With me! No yanking of earrings or constant wriggling and squirming or even any prying into my mouth like a sadistic dentist. Just snuggling!
Some days you just feel like your heart might explode from love, you know? Like it's almost pain, it's so much. You're just not sure if your heart could hold even one more drop of love. But it does, every day it stretches a little more to contain the wonder of our growing, changing children.

1 comment:

daddy said...

lucky you!