tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30354864.post2549318806327670127..comments2023-11-02T06:13:57.587-07:00Comments on Semi-desperate Housewife: TwingesSarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07141742419364168878noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30354864.post-14116964472813994932008-09-17T09:01:00.000-07:002008-09-17T09:01:00.000-07:00Just sending more hugs your way.Just sending more hugs your way.Anniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16816444415903072978noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30354864.post-48055149903903667402008-09-12T17:54:00.000-07:002008-09-12T17:54:00.000-07:00Do not feel bad about feeling bad!!!!! Of COURSE ...Do not feel bad about feeling bad!!!!! Of COURSE you feel sad. You wanted that baby. I cannot BELIEVE that that woman asked if you were RELIEVED. What a thing to say!!!! I mean, you just don't ASK questions like that!!!!! I hope you wiped your nose on her shirt as you walked by. Be sad. This is life, and it comes with happiness and sadness. You are allowed to feel it ALL. If you didn't, you would be a flat, boring, uncaring person, and you're not.Astartehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07337583910910454897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30354864.post-54942702377880077542008-09-09T12:59:00.000-07:002008-09-09T12:59:00.000-07:00Women, but especially mothers, are not always good...Women, but especially mothers, are not always good at finding the time and space they need to heal. Let yourself feel whatever you need to feel. I still get "twinges" related to my scary (scary to me, anyway) hospital bed rest and premature birth experience with Michael, and he's a healthy six months old now. It will take time. I'm so sorry.Kelseyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02256355039094301578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30354864.post-25891318651441353152008-09-08T12:06:00.000-07:002008-09-08T12:06:00.000-07:00I echo: It's OK. You're entitled. And even if s...I echo: It's OK. You're entitled. <BR/><BR/>And even if she knew you were feeling overwhelmed, she could have kept it at a simple, "Oh, I'm so sorry!" and left it at that. Whoops on her part.CAQuincyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11821192974215349171noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30354864.post-2064469370980187562008-09-08T11:05:00.000-07:002008-09-08T11:05:00.000-07:00I'm so so sorry. This came up in my shared items ...I'm so so sorry. This came up in my shared items and I had to click over. <BR/><BR/>I also have three (count - 3!) healthy children. While we were trying to conceive one more - my last little baby - I was diagnosed with Premature Menopause. So, I went though menopause at 39 and am now officially post-menopausal and infertile, just like your grandma. <BR/><BR/>It was totally devastating. And I know how blessed I am. But I'm still devastated.<BR/><BR/>It's OK to be sad about this.Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14258405168792203613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30354864.post-89525309430048757512008-09-08T11:01:00.000-07:002008-09-08T11:01:00.000-07:00You have every right to mourn. When it comes to s...You have every right to mourn. When it comes to suffering or heartache, there aren't people who are MORE allowed. <BR/><BR/>I want to smack the person who asked you if you were relieved!? REally?? Sorry you had to hear that.<BR/><BR/>Hugs to you.Jennifer https://www.blogger.com/profile/08191366421121919596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30354864.post-56975820325980321042008-09-08T09:11:00.000-07:002008-09-08T09:11:00.000-07:00This is just heartbreaking. Yes, you are lucky to...This is just heartbreaking. Yes, you are lucky to have two beautiful healthy children, but that doesn't make the pain of your loss any less justified.Jillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03245907652160537357noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30354864.post-30408988307693871492008-09-08T08:01:00.000-07:002008-09-08T08:01:00.000-07:00Thinking about you. And echoing what everyone els...Thinking about you. And echoing what everyone else has said - you have the right to feel sad, and relived, and everything in between. Take the time to fully heal from this and be gentle with yourself.Shellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10252114894311470243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30354864.post-15026493309187279522008-09-08T06:45:00.000-07:002008-09-08T06:45:00.000-07:00You know, there's always someone who is in a worse...You know, there's always someone who is in a worse situation than we are, and while it's very sweet to feel like you shouldn't be complaining when it could be worse, knowing that it could be worse doesn't make our own tough situations any easier, and that's OK. This is hard and you are handling it so well, and it's OK to feel the way you do. I wish you didn't have to, though.Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30354864.post-59171416581613121102008-09-07T21:31:00.000-07:002008-09-07T21:31:00.000-07:00Huge hugs! You can feel how you feel. There's no r...Huge hugs! You can feel how you feel. There's no reason to be apologetic or guilty about it. You're just coping and getting through it and that's OK.d e v a nhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02514260896810474173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30354864.post-69052895772924476342008-09-07T17:08:00.000-07:002008-09-07T17:08:00.000-07:00You are entitled to feel ALL of these feelings. T...You are entitled to feel ALL of these feelings. The loss of a baby at any stage is difficult and you should take time to grieve.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30354864.post-53430942969916180172008-09-07T13:28:00.000-07:002008-09-07T13:28:00.000-07:00It is grief. There is no talking yourself out of i...It is grief. There is no talking yourself out of it. Don't feel bad for feeling bad. Just get through it. Somehow, it gets better with time. I guess you probably know that, but sometimes it helps (or, it does for me) to be reassured of that from others.<BR/><BR/>I am sorry sweetie.Erinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05170500094049647497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30354864.post-80425270935645420492008-09-06T16:51:00.000-07:002008-09-06T16:51:00.000-07:00Whenever things don't go as planned, there is grie...Whenever things don't go as planned, there is grief. There's no two ways about it. <BR/><BR/>I mourned the loss of a "perfect" child, well aware that many other women in my place went home with no baby at all. It's OK to know that you are blessed and still mourn the loss of a dream. I think that's part of being human. Probably doesn't make you feel any better, but that's all I've got.Katyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02189007616883663434noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30354864.post-78022018882473593562008-09-06T09:57:00.000-07:002008-09-06T09:57:00.000-07:00I should point out, in the interest of fairness, t...I should point out, in the interest of fairness, that the woman who said, "Are you relieved?" had known that I was initially feeling very overwhelmed at the idea of three children under four years old. When I had told her the news about being pregnant, she had been in the process of telling me how exhausting it is having three little ones (her third is a couple months old) and how now you're ALWAYS outnumbered, even when Dad's home, etc. I'm sure she was feeling bad for me that I wasn't exactly glowing with joy about being pregnant, and figured that relief WAS my primary emotion here. I don't want to make her sound cruel. But it was just not exactly good timing, since even though there HAS been feelings of relief, there has also been massive GUILT over feeling relieved. So I just didn't want to be reminded of it.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07141742419364168878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30354864.post-82353569490785637582008-09-06T08:28:00.000-07:002008-09-06T08:28:00.000-07:00You're are fully within your rights to feel whatev...You're are fully within your rights to feel whatever you feel.<BR/><BR/>And that woman that you ran into who said, "are you so relieved?" <BR/><BR/>What the heck is she smoking? Who SAYS things like that??! Even to someone (not you) who may have been lamenting being pregnant for whatever reason....<BR/><BR/>You just don't say those things. GAH.Jen @ Rolling Through Looneyvillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14286472773512959554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30354864.post-7050004152741804312008-09-06T06:58:00.000-07:002008-09-06T06:58:00.000-07:00If it's any consolation (and right now it won't be...If it's any consolation (and right now it won't be, so that's a stupid lead-in), those sad feelings will eventually fade and you'll be able to listen to other pregnant women and see pro-life billboards without crushing sadness. Your loss will always come to mind, but it won't hurt so much. Unfortunately, stupid comments from others will never stop being stupid.<BR/><BR/>After every one of my miscarriages, I was extremely depressed. It's a good thing to have your other children, because it forces you to move on. I don't know how I would have handled things if I hadn't had my other kids to have to present a normal facade to. Eventually, the normalcy will stop being a facade. Hang in there.Fiona Picklebottomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01506170190612993100noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30354864.post-85097494213581105752008-09-06T06:50:00.000-07:002008-09-06T06:50:00.000-07:00These are all perfectly normal feelings to have. ...These are all perfectly normal feelings to have. You are only human. You wanted THAT baby as much as you wanted any. It's not selfish and it's not silly. It's real.<BR/><BR/>Hugs! And may God grant you peace about this. His timing is better than ours. That's a hard thing to know, but it's truth.Mommy Daisyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02272248293460562006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30354864.post-51553206810980445432008-09-06T06:04:00.000-07:002008-09-06T06:04:00.000-07:00Happiness and pain are not mutually exclusive.Hang...Happiness and pain are not mutually exclusive.<BR/><BR/>Hang in there -- my fingers will be crossed that things work out for you!Maggiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18010155174814652914noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30354864.post-78403021669902715492008-09-06T05:59:00.000-07:002008-09-06T05:59:00.000-07:00You have the right to feel every bit of pain you f...You have the right to feel every bit of pain you feel. Should you be happy for what you have - yes! Does that mean you can't be sad - no! <BR/><BR/>I have nothing else to say that wouldn't sound like a total cliche. We are praying for you and love you. Let us know if we can do anything to help.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30354864.post-34722322881540279572008-09-06T04:15:00.000-07:002008-09-06T04:15:00.000-07:00In your last paragraph you sound almost apologetic...In your last paragraph you sound almost apologetic for feeling the way you do. You have every right to mourn, and every right to be frustrated and angry and sad. People will say stupid things (relieved? seriously?). It sucks. All of it. You don't need to put on a brave face for anyone.LoriDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07646658618955664778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30354864.post-48329050942129144382008-09-06T04:00:00.000-07:002008-09-06T04:00:00.000-07:00It's ok to feel all of those things. It's ok to b...It's ok to feel all of those things. It's ok to be sad.Musings of a Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12241104585574794776noreply@blogger.com